miserableshitehawk Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Punches Nearly Thrown In Near Brawl After Matt Kemp Trucks Robinson Chirinos At The Plate<em></em>
We’ve got ourselves a near donnybrook! Hands nearly thrown! Faces nearly smashed! Scores nearly settled!...
Michael Wilbon: LeBron Should Play For The Wizards So He Can Be Like Jeff Bezos<em></em>
Michael Wilbon, a grumbly shithead who’s spent the better part of this millennium actively torching his own hard-won relevance, has now weighed in on LeBron James’s impending free agency. You may be surprised to learn that Wilbon—who has made it clear multiple times that he thinks D.C. is a “terribl...
19-Year-Old Maryland Football Player Dies Two Weeks After Collapsing During Team Workout
Jordan McNair, a 19-year-old sophomore offensive lineman for the University of Maryland football team, died Wednesday, two weeks after he was hospitalized following an incident at a team workout on May 29. Terps athletic director Damon Evans announced McNair’s death in a statement released Wednesday...
LeBronWatch: Earl Boykins Says LeBron Will Never Play For The Knicks, Is A Near Lock To Join The Nuggets
The LeBron James free agency news is coming hot and fast now. Some important things have already been settled: LeBron is definitely joining the Lakers; LeBron definitely wants the city of Houston to sink into the ocean forever; LeBron is definitely joining the Knicks. Also something about Scottie Pi...
Miguel Cabrera Done For The Season With Ruptured Biceps Tendon
Miguel Cabrera left Tuesday’s loss to the Twins in the bottom of the third inning with what was initially described by the Tigers as a left biceps tendon strain. Cabrera took a looping cut on a Jake Odorizzi off-speed pitch and immediately winced and grabbed his bicep before walking into the dugout ...
Bryce Harper Roughed Up And Bad-Mouthed In Comprehensively Rotten 24 Hours
C.C. Sabathia of the dastardly New York Yankees pegged dear Dinger Lord Bryce Harper in the funny bone in the top of the fifth inning Tuesday, with two men on and the Yankees clinging to a 2-0 lead. Scum! Murder most foul!...
What Do We Think Of This Old Video Of An Umpire Handling An Extremely Pissed Terry Collins?
Noah Syndergaard was ejected from a Dodgers-Mets game way back in late May 2016 after throwing behind Chase Utley in the top of the third inning. It was a 1-0 pitch, and it was 99 miles per hour, and it sailed behind Utley by a good eight inches:...
<i>Hereditary </i>Will Completely Fuck Up Even The Most Seasoned Horror-Movie Watcher
My favorite genre of fiction, in books and stories and movies and probably even television shows, is horror. I love horror. I watch horror movies all the time. I stay up late after my wife goes to bed so that I can watch more horror movies, even though it means that I sleep terribly. My worry with H...
St. Louis Jury Sticks Rams With $12.5 Million Bill For Reggie Bush's "Concrete Ring Of Death" Injury
St. Louis’s Edward Jones Dome—now the Dome at America’s Center—was a piece of crap football stadium for many reasons, just one of which was a wide warning track of concrete that ran around the stands and presented a hazard for be-cleated football players whose actions and momentum occasionally carri...
Bitchin' Politician Just Blasts Himself Right In The Eyeballs With Pepper Spray!
Levi Tillemann is a Democrat running for Congress in Colorado’s sixth congressional district, and he wants you to know he is a leader who will work to “break through the partisan gridlock” and honestly I missed most of the rest of it because holy shit the guy just unloads a fucking quart of pepper s...
Ho Hum, Dennis Rodman Weeping On CNN Over The Personal Sacrifices He's Made To Broker Peace With North Korea
Monday night North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un joined a historic summit with Donald Trump, a sleazy failed businessman turned sleazy reality television star turned sleazy opportunistic Republican turned President of the United States, and I mean to tell you we haven’t even gotten to the truly psyche...
Bode Miller's 19-Month-Old Daughter Dies After Drowning Incident In Swimming Pool
The 19-month-old daughter of Bode and Morgan Miller died Sunday after a drowning incident at a swimming pool in Southern California, according to an Associated Press report. Bode Miller confirmed his daughter’s death in a devastating Instagram post Monday evening:...
Boss As Hell Baserunner Steals Home In Tie Game With Trip To College World Series On The Line
The Auburn and Florida baseball teams are meeting in a Super Regional contest tonight, the winner of which will head to the College World Series. Nice high stakes, there, which makes what happened with two away in the bottom of the fourth inning all the more bitchin’:...
Report: Deontay Wilder And Anthony Joshua Reach Agreement On Heavyweight Unification Mega-Fight
WBC heavyweight champion Deontay Wilder has agreed to terms to fight IBF, IBO, WBA, and WBO champion Anthony Joshua in a highly anticipated and exceedingly rare heavyweight unification bout, to be held in the United Kingdom, according to a report from ESPN’s Dan Rafael:...
LeBronWatch: LeBron Definitely Headed To The Lakers, Take It To The Bank
NBA free agency doesn’t kick off until July 1, but the period between now and then will be an often-unbearable crescendo of rumormongering and conjecture and tasseography, most of it having to do with the eventual destination of LeBron James. LeBron made it clear at his post–Game 4 press conference ...
Deadspin Up All Night: Plainsong
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I’m surrounded by wild animals....
True Ass-Brain Football Columnist Says Matt Patricia Risks Losing Lions Players Because Punishment Isn't Fun
Matt Patricia has been head coach of the Detroit Lions for roughly 19 minutes. It’s been a rocky time—mere moments after he accepted the job, the Detroit News reported on a sexual assault indictment in Patricia’s past, and the Lions organization needed much of the time since—and, frankly, the aid of...
Would Dropping Switch-Hitting Help Salvage Billy Hamilton's Horrendous Season?
Billy Hamilton has long been one of the most fun players in baseball. He runs like the wind, a trait that makes him a highlight factory both on the bases and in the outfield. He turns an otherwise harmless dribbler to third into a moment of genuine excitement, and his presence on base strikes terror...
Oh No, Vlad Jr.'s Injury Timeline Is Expanding
The Blue Jays put gentle dinger machine Vladimir Guerrero Jr. on the 7-day disabled list last weekend after he tweaked a leg injury on a dipshit single on Saturday. It was a tough blow, but we are grownups, and we can survive seven days without our strong dong-mashing idol. It has now been seven day...
The Sound When These Two Men Smash Their Dicks And Balls Together Will Stay With You Long Into The Night
This happened in the seventh inning of Saturday’s Mariners-Rays game, with a runner on first and the Rays holding a 6-3 lead. It was a clutch, inning-ending grab, but it came with great, great sacrifice:...