miserableshitehawk Page 72 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
England's Lazy Sack Of Crap Racing Snails Refuse To Race In The Cold
Newsflash: it’s cold in England. It’s also winter. And we’re not even talking about true cold, here: in the range of 32 degrees Fahrenheit, with overnight temperatures in the teens. Mehhhhhh. For point of reference, at the opening ceremony of the 2018 Winter Olympics, in Pyeongchang, temperatures fe...
Mirai Nagasu Apologizes For Wild Comments Made After Disappointing Free Skate
Hey, remember that unhinged interview Mirai Nagasu gave following her bafflingly poor free skate performance? The one where Nagasu framed the fucking Olympics as an audition for Dancing With the Stars? The one where she threw her teammates under the bus? What the hell happened there?...
Bad-Ass Goose Unfazed After Getting Plunked By Tiger Woods Drive
Look out, goose!...
Jimmy Butler's Injury Could've Been So Much Worse, But The Wolves Are Still In Trouble
So it’s a torn meniscus and likely surgery for Jimmy Butler, after he crumpled to the court Friday night:...
Austrian Cross-County Skier Running Second Makes Wrong Turn, Finishes Ninth
Of all the ways of failing to medal in a grueling 30-kilometer cross-country race, Austrian Olympian Teresa Stadlober certainly discovered the most excruciatingly regrettable: She got lost. She took a wrong friggin’ turn and got lost. Per the Associated Press:...
Extremely Pissed Russell Westbrook, On Zaza Pachulia: "He Tried To Hurt Me"
The Warriors pounded the bejeezus out of the Oklahoma City Thunder Saturday night, to the tune of 112-80. 80 points is the fewest scored in a game this season by the Thunder, and 32 points is their biggest margin of defeat. It was a wipeout: the Warriors won every quarter, and held the trio of Russe...
Big South Underdog Celebrates Huge Upset Victory With Epic Water Fight
The Charleston Southern Buccaneers toppled Winthrop Saturday, 78-75, in a game I can’t imagine anyone reading this blog actually cares about. It was an upset, on the road—the Buccaneers came into the game 13-15 overall and 8-9 in Big South play, while Winthrop entered in second place in the conferen...
Olympian Haley Anderson Ranks The Buoyancy Of Olympic Heroes
Two-time Olympic open swimmer Haley Anderson knows a thing or two about buoyancy, but how does she feel about the buoyancy of, say, Olympic curler Matt Hamilton? Or Aja Evans? Or the relative merits of the Williams sisters versus the Knowles sisters? It truly takes an Olympian to bring clarity to th...
Damian Lillard Rescued His Blazers From The Lowly Suns, And Also The Suns From The Blazers
It is not an exaggeration to say that Damian Lillard’s heroics in the fourth quarter of Saturday night’s Blazers-Suns tilt rescued both teams: the Blazers are smack in the middle of the West’s dense playoff pack; meanwhile the Suns, had they won, would’ve gone from having the worst win percentage in...
Deadspin Up All Night: Ain't No Way
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Catch you tomorrow....
Shaq's Son Shareef O'Neal Withdraws Commitment To Arizona In Wake Of Wiretap Revelation
Dominoes are falling at Arizona as a result of the FBI investigation into recruiting violations at NCAA schools: Sean Miller might be out at Arizona—he is for sure not coaching the team tonight against Oregon—and now star recruit Shareef O’Neal is apparently withdrawing his commitment to the school:...
Kerri Walsh Jennings Ranks Olympians As Volleyball Prospects
Kerri Walsh Jennings is a five-time Olympian volleyballer and three-time Olympic gold medalist. Here her expertise is directed to the task of ranking things, including the volleyball potential of other U.S. Olympians, and other people whose names are some form of “Kerri.” Enjoy!...
Report: Sean Miller May Be Owed Twice As Much By Arizona If He's Fired With Cause
Ah, now here is a sensible way to write a contract: make sure you include in there some significant monetary incentive for behavior that breaches the terms of the contract....
Daniel Berger Is Out Here Hiking And Wading His Way Up The Leaderboard
Daniel Berger is currently tied for 10th at the Honda Classic in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. I would like for you see the hilarious mess he made of the par-5 third hole today, so that you can appreciate with me the sheer unlikeliness of him saving par:...
Nikola Jokic Is On A Hell Of A Tear
The NBA’s Western Conference is a tangle: the third-seed Spurs are ahead of the 10th-seed Jazz by just 4.5 games; those Spurs have managed to win just three of their last 10 games, and while they’ve been swirling in rare drama having to do with Kawhi Leonard’s injury status, those Jazz have won nine...
Report: Vile Pharma Dipshit Martin Shkreli Now Has Prison Muscles
When he was just a pasty nerd, out here defrauding investors and exponentially increasing the price of important drugs, I feel very certain that I could’ve taken Martin Shkreli. Now I am less sure, and let me tell you, it’s a sickening feeling:...
Report: Former Bears Great Charles Tillman Joined Up With The Man
I remember Charles Tillman as a fun player with a preternatural gift for causing turnovers, and though I have never been a Bears fan, I remember rooting for him personally out of appreciation for his mastery of the forced fumble and the defensive touchdown. Those were happy times, and like virtually...
Oh No, Not Jimmy Butler
Jimmy Butler—the Timberwolves’ leading scorer and best player, and the NBA’s leader in minutes per game prior to the All-Star break—went down in a crumpled heap in the third quarter of Minnesota’s Friday night loss to the Houston Rockets. It looked like a non-contact injury, and Butler had to be hel...
Deadspin Up All Night: Can We Talk?
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. May all your President’s Days be, umm, whatever....