miserableshitehawk Page 80 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Savor The Mental Image Of Kevin Durant Hiding From An Enraged Boogie
Warriors director of team operations Eric Housen has a big job, behind the scenes, keeping Golden State’s basketball operation running smoothly. Lots of good stuff about Housen’s role in this New York Times story, read it for yourself, yes, yes, BRING ME THE STORY OF KEVIN DURANT FLEEING DEMARCUS CO...
Markelle Fultz Is Trapped In An Endless Reevaluation Loop
Even when it at first looks like good news, no Markelle Fultz news is ever good news. For example:...
FOX Is Seeking Los Angeles-Area Actors Who Can Pretend To Be Rams Fans
If you live in Los Angeles and can convincingly portray a Los Angeles Rams fan, you’re in luck: FOX is looking for people with exactly your unique and rare skill set to pretend to be Rams fans during Sunday’s Rams home game. Set in a fictional world where anyone in Los Angeles gives a shit about the...
Report: Feds Shut Down $2.5 Million NFL Survivor Pool Operation
The Feds this week busted up and shut down a sprawling NFL survivor pool operation with contests operating in the millions of dollars, according to a report from ESPN’s Darren Rovell. Ron Kronengold and Mike Bernstein reportedly ran several contests per year at Ron & Mike’s Football Pool over the co...
Erik Spoelstra Blows Chance To Escape Foundering Miami Heat In Lovely Mexico City
The Miami Heat are in Mexico City today to play the Brooklyn Nets. It sounds like they’ve been having fun exploring the city, when they are not busy abandoning head coach Erik Spoelstra at scenic parks. No really!...
Reports: Giancarlo Stanton Will Be Traded To The Friggin' Yankees
Giancarlo Stanton, heretofore an easily likable dong-mashing baseball hero, will complete a dramatic heel turn and join the disgusting New York Yankees, according to multiple reports. ...
Grody Sweat Monster Patrick Ewing Was Also A Germophobe
Patrick Ewing, a walking and dunking sweat fountain during his playing days, was apparently also a big-time germophobe, according to this cool series of stories from former NBA trainer Timmy Walsh, via Stefan Bondy of the New York Daily News....
Miami And Clemson Fans Body Slam Each Other To Hell In Gory Brawl
Clemson demolished Miami yesterday in the ACC Championship, in Charlotte. You can imagine, a blowout like that generally leads to unhappy fans of one side or another. This being football we’re talking about, there is a very great chance that unhappy fans will wind up punching and kicking each other ...
Serie A Keeper Scores Ridiculous Stoppage Time Goal On Flying Header
AC Milan had a 2-1 lead on last place Benevento in the 95th minute today, with Benevento setting up for a free kick deep in Milan territory. You know what that means: the underdogs pulled keeper Alberto Brignoli forward to load up the box. And is there any way I would be showing you this video if Br...
Texas A&M Rolls Out Actual Red Carpet To Welcome Jimbo Fisher
Jimbo Fisher arrived today at College Station, Texas, as the new head football coach at Texas A&M. He was greeted on the tarmac at Easterwood* Airport by a marching band and a literal red carpet, as happens in a sane world with a healthy appreciation for amateur sports:...
Tiger Woods Has Recovered From His Lousy Saturday And Is Murdering The Ball
We can probably rule out Tiger Woods winning this weekend’s Hero World Challenge in the Bahamas. He was right in it after two rounds, but a Saturday 75 dropped him well back of the lead, and Rickie Fowler has spent Sunday birdying literally all the damn holes, so Tiger is out of it....
These Are The Dark Times For Lonzo Ball And The Lakers
Last night was a miserable one for the Lakers. They lost to a Nuggets team missing all of Nikola Jokic, Paul Millsap, and Wilson Chandler, after taking a four-point lead into halftime. Frustration and befuddlement mounted throughout the second half, until, by crunch-time, the Lakers were more or le...
Deadspin Up All Night: You've Got Garlic In Your Soul
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Still feeling Christmas-y, over here....
Penn State Football Commit Charged With Robbing Philly Wawa Of $13,600
If you asked me to guess how much money a person could make from robbing a Wawa, under no circumstances would I guess anything close to $13,000. But I am told, in this report from the Inquirer, that that is more or less the score allegedly taken by young Isheem Young, a Penn State football commit, w...
Austin Rivers Fined By NBA For Shit-Talking "Fair Weather-Ass" Clippers Fan
Austin Rivers, hilariously spastic and wonderfully confident basketball player, has reportedly been fined $25,000 for scolding a court-side Clippers fan during the team’s Thursday night loss to the streaking Utah Jazz:...
TCU's John Diarse Lays Out For Spectacular One-Handed Touchdown Grab
Third-ranked Oklahoma jumped out to a 17-0 lead over TCU after just four total possessions this afternoon, and very much looked poised to run away from the Horned Frogs. A nine-play TCU touchdown drive made it 17-7, and, after a missed Oklahoma field goal, the Horned Frogs got right back to work, us...
Seattle Sounders Fans Are Hopping Mad At Beer
I have, myself, been mad at beer. One time I drank several too many Smithwick’s at a pub quiz, and the following morning had the worst beer shits in the history of mankind. Fuckin’ beer! This is not like that: Seattle Sounders fans are mad at beer for, like, appropriation, or whatever....
SCSU-NCSU Game Delayed After Bulldogs Player Collapses On Bench, Is Given CPR<em></em>
South Carolina State senior guard Tyvoris Solomon collapsed on the bench during a timeout in today’s game against N.C. State, triggering a terrifying sequence where EMT responders performed CPR on Solomon as he lay on the floor near the S.C. State bench:...
Georgia Tech Lost On A Last Second Own-Basket
Oh man. Georgia Tech spent the final ten minutes of their game Friday night against underdog Grambling State scrambling back from a 16-point deficit, finally grabbing a one-point lead on a Jose Alvarado three-pointer with 1:02 left on the game clock. The teams traded free throws over the next 30 sec...
Reports: Yankees Will Hire ESPN Analyst Aaron Boone As Manager
The Yankees will hire ESPN analyst and one-time Red Sox destructor Aaron Boone to replace the fired Joe Girardi, according to reports from the New York Daily News and ESPN....