miserableshitehawk Page 81 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Donovan Mitchell Has The Look
When Rudy Gobert was ruled out for a month with a bone bruise in his right knee back on November 11, the Jazz became an afterthought in the crowded Western Conference. The thinking—my thinking, at least—was that Utah’s strong defense would slide without Gobert around to anchor the middle, and for an...
NBA Teams Allowed To Continue Playing After Combined 20-Point First Quarter
The Heat and Bulls are playing this afternoon in Chicago. Probably no one should be watching this game—the Heat are meh, and the Bulls are whoa that milk belongs in the trash, man—but there are few options on a football Sunday if you’re an NBA fan, and this was the only 3:30 p.m. game on today’s sla...
Report: Florida Gators To Hire Dan Mullen Away From Mississippi State
It won’t be the sexiest hire of this weekend—you can decide for yourself whether that honor should go to Chip Kelly at UCLA or Greg Schiano at Tennessee—but the Florida Gators are reportedly finalizing a deal to hire Dan Mullen away from Mississippi State, to replace the fired Jim McElwain....
Giannis Antetokounmpo Shouts "I'll Fuck You Up" At Bucks Assistant Coach
The Milwaukee Bucks lost in Utah last night. It was a frustrating game—they lost every quarter, and seemed to be flustered by Utah’s constant motion and passing, which provided a pretty stark contrast to Milwaukee’s own “eh, something good will happen, probably” offense—in what’s been a frustrating ...
Tiger Woods's Trump National Tune Up Was Apparently A Smashing Success
Tiger Woods played in a foursome Saturday at Trump National Golf Club in Jupiter, Florida, with current world number one Dustin Johnson, idiot President Donald Trump, and Brad Faxon, a PGA Tour Champions player and Fox Sports golf analyst. These casual rounds have taken on real meaning as Tiger gear...
Is Alex Ovechkin DUN DUN DUN ... A Russian Agent?
Seeking to explain why Alex Ovechkin started the PutinTeam “social movement” earlier in the fall, a trio of Washington Post reporters went long on the Ovechkin-Putin bromance, and the genesis of Ovechkin’s PutinTeam launch. It’s a sprawling piece of work that explores both the origins and the effect...
Deadspin Up All Night: The Christmas Waltz
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I’m sorry, I’m just ready for Christmas....
Dwight Howard Fined $35,000 For Being Dwight Howard
Of all the dipshit ways for Dwight Howard to earn himself a $35,000 fine from the NBA, this is almost certainly the Dwight Howard-est:...
No, The USMNT Will Not Be Replacing Peru In The World Cup
Maybe you have seen this rumor circulating recently: Peru, the last team to earn their spot in the 2018 World Cup, might be passing a law that would disqualify them from participating in the World Cup, and like some dismal, shameful Christmas miracle, your very own U.S. Men’s National Team might rep...
Clutch Time Appears To No Longer Be Westbrook Time
Remember last season, when Russell Westbrook was an incredible monster, and his clutch performance was the stuff of legend? Remember how the Thunder outperformed their point differential by dominating those clutch situations? Remember how they went a shocking 26-16 in games that were within five poi...
My Fellow Americans, I Regret To Inform You That Our Idiot President Is Being Owned Again
Yes, our dingus mingus of a President said something dumb and wrong, and once again he is being owned online for it. This time, in an effort to protect his image from the indignity of, umm, not being on the cover of one specific issue of one specific magazine, he made some shit up about “actually, I...
Oh Great, Now John Wall's Knee Is An Issue, This Is Just Fucking Great
The top of the NBA’s Eastern Conference is a little deeper than most observers expected it to be before the season. The Celtics are kicking everyone’s ass. The Pistons are good. The Cavs are becoming good. The Raptors are their usual good selves. Teams like the Pacers and 76ers and Heat and Bucks an...
Chip Kelly Will Replace Jim Mora As Head Coach At UCLA
Chip Kelly has been quite the prize these last couple of weeks, as he’s been courted for vacant head coaching positions at Tennessee, Florida, and UCLA. Kelly reportedly turned down Tennessee, and was said to be choosing between Florida and UCLA last week. Word came Thursday that Kelly was suddenly ...
Ah Yes, These Are The Orlando Magic I Remember
I am very glad I didn’t say anything especially glowing about the Orlando Magic back on November 2, when they were “good,” before they remembered that they cannot truly be good, for they are the Orlando Magic. They almost fooled me!...
NBC Airs A Bizarre NFL Promo Featuring Lawrence Taylor
In 2010, former Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor was charged with third-degree rape, patronizing a prostitute, sexual abuse, and endangering a child, after he had sex with a 16-year-old who’d been delivered to him against her will by a pimp, who’d punched her in the face in order to secure her comp...
Skins' Chris Thompson Out For Season After Suffering Gruesome Broken Leg
In the third quarter of today’s Skins-Saints tilt in New Orleans, Washington running back Chris Thompson was engaged blocking on a Kirk Cousins run when Saints defensive lineman Sheldon Rankins rolled into his leg from behind, causing it to bend in ways human legs are not meant to bend:...
Sunday's Exciting Markelle Fultz Update: Fultz Still Out Indefinitely
Word started to spread Sunday morning that the Philadelphia 76ers would be sharing an update on the injury status of young Markelle Fultz, and that the news would be positive. That’s great! There has been almost no good Fultz news from the moment the Sixers drafted him—any good Fultz news is great F...
Hosting An NFL Pregame Show Seems Like A Shitty Gig
Samantha Ponder replaced Chris Berman this year as host of Sunday NFL Countdown on ESPN, where she shares a set with Rex Ryan, Randy Moss, Matt Hasselbeck, and Charles Woodson, along with updates from Chris Mortensen, Adam Schefter, and Louis Riddick. Hosting these kinds of shows sometimes looks, to...
Donald Trump Wishes He'd Left UCLA Teens In Chinese Prison Because His Feelings Are Hurt
You knew this was coming. Just as sure as you were that President Trump would take credit for three shoplifting dipshits not being condemned to prison, you had to know he would express resentment over LaVar Ball downplaying the role Trump played in expediting the return of three UCLA freshman to fre...
Mississippi Football Fans Can't Possibly Love Eli Manning This Much
Kevin Draper of the New York Times has a really cool and fascinating look at the many rules and restrictions and customs that dictate the broadcast map of an NFL football Sunday, exploring how small pockets of viewers in small-market areas wind up being shown this or that out-of-market game on Fox o...