Donald Trump Wishes He'd Left UCLA Teens In Chinese Prison Because His Feelings Are Hurt

You knew this was coming. Just as sure as you were that President Trump would take credit for three shoplifting dipshits not being condemned to prison, you had to know he would express resentment over LaVar Ball downplaying the role Trump played in expediting the return of three UCLA freshman to freedom. Here we are!

Finish that sentence, Donald! I should have left them in jail because one of their fathers isn’t appropriately appreciative of my intervention. Yes, yes, that is definitely how criminal justice and international diplomacy should function. We definitely do not live in hell.