miserableshitehawk Page 96 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
More Like Tour De Butts
Today is a day of many butt cheeks over at the Tour de France:...
Roger Federer Captures Men's Record Eighth Wimbledon Title
Roger Federer finished off a clean Wimbledon with a straight-sets victory over Marin Cilic in today’s men’s Final, winning 6-3, 6-1, 6-4. ...
There Is No Making Sense Of Matt Holliday's Bizarre Base Running Blunder
You know when you zone out at a stoplight, and then you suddenly sense traffic moving around you, and so you accelerate a little too quickly, but it turns out you don’t have a green light, it’s the turn lane next to you that has a green arrow, and so you have to stomp the brakes like a shithead, but...
Deadspin Up All Night: Left Me
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Grill and eat some octopus....
Get A Load Of The Insane Second Shot Of This Miraculous Par Save
You’re gonna have to trust me on the sequence here, because I can’t find video of the before or after: On the 531-yard par-5 17th hole today at the John Deere Classic, Kelly Kraft badly shanked his drive off the tee. Like, incredibly badly. Here he is lining up his second shot:...
Come Look At All These Good Oakland Sports Dogs
The Oakland Athletics had a Bark at the Park event Friday afternoon. Here come the doggos! ...
Foolish Mets Will Postpone Destiny And Not Call Up Tim Tebow In 2017
Brawny baseball monk Tim Tebow will reportedly not join the Mets in 2017, according to general manager Sandy Alderson, howling skyward with raised, clenched fists:...
Garbine Muguruza Upsets Venus Williams To Win Wimbledon Final
Fourteenth seed Garbine Muguruza upset Venus Williams in a lopsided Wimbledon Final today, winning 7-5, 6-0 to capture her second Grand Slam title. Here’s some interesting trivia:...
Kombucha Defense Fails To Spare Michael Floyd From Suspension
The NFL announced Friday that Vikings receiver and kombucha enthusiast Michael Floyd has been suspended without pay for the first four games of the 2017 NFL season for violating the league’s substance abuse policy....
Report: Brazil Appellate Court Dismisses Charges Against Ryan Lochte
Just about 11 months after the bizarre late-night confrontation that led to Ryan Lochte being charged in Rio with falsely communicating a crime to authorities, an appellate court in Brazil has reportedly dismissed all charges against the gold-medal beefcake....
Watch Large Silly Galoot Alexander Ovechkin Do Some Shirtless Cavorting
Here is a video of a shirtless Alex Ovechkin being a big happy goober while music plays:...
Deadspin Up All Night: The Future
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Eat steamed crabs and drink beer....
Ornery Columnist: Snacks In Youth Sports Are Making America Soft
Snacks: Are there too many of them? I don’t know—when I look in my pantry, I am often disappointed by how few snacks there are. If you ask me, there should be a lot more snacks around me at all times. Snacks are good is a broadly popular opinion, judging by the contents of aisles four thru six of my...
David Griffin Rejects The Knicks, Who Are Completely Doomed
Here is a not-all-that-shocking bit of news, in the grand scheme of an NBA offseason:...
Jon Rahm Wins Dubai Duty Free Irish Open After Ball Placement Controversy
The problem started when Jon Rahm and Daniel Im found their balls in uncomfortably close proximity on the sixth green at the Dubai Duty Free Irish Open at Portstewart Golf Club in Northern Ireland....
76ers Shut Down Markelle Fultz Following Ankle Injury
In a continuation of a time-honored Philadelphia tradition, 2017 first overall draft pick and most recent 76ers savior Markelle Fultz will miss early developmental playing time following a lower leg injury....
Jon Lester Got Absolutely Shelled By The Pirates This Afternoon
It was a rough first inning for the Cubs’ Jon Lester today. He took the mound at 1:10 p.m. and promptly gave up a leadoff single to Pittsburgh’s Josh Harrison. A groundout and a walk put runners on first and second with one out and David Freese at the plate. This is precisely when it all went to shi...
Lonzo Ball And Jayson Tatum Gave Us A Cool Lakers-Celtics Summer League Contest
The Lakers and Celtics Summer League teams played Saturday in Las Vegas, pitting second overall pick Lonzo Ball against third overall pick Jayson Tatum. This was pretty fun!...
Wayne Rooney Officially Joins Everton After Passing Physical
Wayne Rooney, added to the £75 million transfer fee paid by Manchester United to Everton for striker Romelu Lukaku, passed his physical Saturday and has now officially returned to the Toffees....
Flashin' Granny Flashes Dodger Stadium Via Videoboard
The 42,225 fans at yesterday’s Dodgers-Royals tilt at Dodger Stadium were treated to an unexpected delight when an elderly woman boogying down on the videoboard caught a little too much of the spirit and flashed the crowd....