Foolish Mets Will Postpone Destiny And Not Call Up Tim Tebow In 2017

Brawny baseball monk Tim Tebow will reportedly not join the Mets in 2017, according to general manager Sandy Alderson, howling skyward with raised, clenched fists:

“Never crossed my mind until about 10 days ago when somebody said it was likely to happen,” Alderson told reporters Friday.

“I don’t foresee that kind of scenario.”

Tebow, cruising up New York’s minor league system, is hitting .321 at St. Lucie and is currently on a 12-game hitting streak. He smacked a walk-off dong Thursday night. The Mets are 40-47 and 12 games back of the Nationals in the NL East. For one thing, what the hell else to the Mets have going on? More to the point, it is Tim Tebow’s destiny to play 150 games in left field in a Mets jersey next season, as a 30-year-old rookie, and drive the masses absolutely bonkers. Who is Sandy Alderson to stand in his way?