mjdeadspin-old Page 88 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today In The Premiership...
I don't know a whole lot about soccer, but I'm trying to learn... and I'm dragging you along with me, kicking and screaming....

A Bizarre ABC Programming Choice
While Fox and CBS are showing some big-time college basketball and NFL games, ABC has countered with some lame golf event that pits PGA Tour players against LPGA players and Champions Tour players....

The Afternoon In College Hoops...
• #14 UCLA 68, Michigan 61. Jordan Farmar and Arron Afflalo both went over 20 for the Bruins, and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, enemy of people who sew last names onto uniforms everywhere, had 9 rebounds off the bench. • Tennessee is currently throttling #7 Texas. I know it's only my second week doing...

Someone At Fox Loves The Damn Sleigh Bells
Every ten seconds or so in the Patriots/Bucs game, someone at Fox is hitting the button to play some goddamn sleigh bell noise. It's like the producer put his ADD child in charge of the audio for today's broadcast, and the little bastard is pounding the sleigh bell button like he's playing Ten Yar...

Sources Say Reggie Bush Turning Pro
The Los Angeles Daily News is reporting that Reggie Bush will turn pro and is already being advised by Mike Ornstein of Reebok, who also used to work for the Raiders. When pressed to reveal their sources, the Daily News identified them as "pretty much anyone who watches any football whatsoever."...

A Couple Of Naughty Longhorns
Two Texas Longhorns are in trouble, and their timing could be considered poor. The Austin Police Department released a statement last night saying that they were investigating two different criminal incidents involving individuals "involved in the UT athletics program," which sounds like a nice wa...

About Last Night...
While you were hoping that Santa Claus chose to ignore your behavior last night......

To Watch Tonight...
• NBA. Detroit @ LA Clippers. Because it will be nice for Rip Hamilton to go up against Sam Cassell. He so rarely gets to see people uglier than he is. • College basketball. Boston College @ Maryland. Battles between Eagles and Turtles are just so unpredictable. • NFL. Detroit @ Green Bay. Actually,...

Clearing the 4 o'clock Table...
• Washington 17, Arizona 13. Clinton Portis's 100-yard day helps save Mark Brunell from the humiliation of throwing 3 INTs and losing to the Buzzsaw. • Baltimore 10, Denver 12. I believe there are moral victories, Ravens, and I think you just gained a little dignity and kept yourselves alive in the ...

Buffs Football Program Continues To Shine
It is not the proudest of times for the Colorado football program. An offensive tackle has been suspended for sending a racist e-mail to a Hispanic member of the cross country team. The guy's girlfriend, also a member of the cross country team, also had something to do with it, and she has quit th...

The Weak Have Become Strong
In another sign of an incredibly weak NFC, the Giants, who are supposed to be one of the conference's best, are tied at the half with the Eagles, who are playing without their best 18 players. Ryan Moats has 89 rushing yards and two touchdowns in the first half....

Colts Prepare For A Month Of Boredom
With their 26-18 win in Jacksonville, and Tony Dungy's stated preference to not actively pursue the '72 Dolphins undefeated mark, Peyton Manning and Edgerrin James have about a month to do whatever they please....

Setting The 4 o'clock Table...
• New York Giants @ Philadelphia. I think the Philadelphia Soul might have a little more talent on the roster right now than the Eagles. If you hate the Eagles as much as Terrell Owens does, you might enjoy this one. • Washington @ Arizona. Er, excuse me... Washington @ The Buzzsaw. All you need to ...

Clearing The 1 o'clock Table...
• Chicago 9, Pittsburgh 21. Remarkably, Minnesota's going to be one game back in the division. They play the Bears in Week 17, too. • Cincinnati 23, Cleveland 20. Shayne Graham hits a field goal at the buzzer to avoid the major upset. Again, Chad Johnson is held out of the endzone. Again, Sunday is ...

LeBron May Be The Smoothest Man Alive
I couldn't hear the commercial real well, and I'm not quite sure what was going on. Some kid was dreaming about bread, and there was butter involved, I don't know. It doesn't even matter. LeBron James is the smoothest man alive....

The Bears Might Not Be Very Good
The Steelers have been plowing through the Bears like a Peter King through a grande double caramel mocha egg nog latte. The Bears are moving the ball with only minimal efficency, which is not surprising. But what is surprising is the ease with which the Steelers have moved the ball. Willie Parker ...

Non-Chad Johnson TDs Suck
Instead of fining Chad Johnson for excessive touchdown celebrations, Paul Tagliabue should start fining Bengals who score TDs that aren't named Chad Johnson....

Setting The 1 o'clock Table...
• Chicago @ Pittsburgh. The Bears will be without safety Mike Brown and starting right guard Terrence Metcalf. Pittsburgh will be without any healthy joints on their starting quarterback. And can someone explain to me why Pittsburgh is a 6-point favorite here? • Indianapolis @ Jacksonville. Many p...

Artest Requests Trade
Saying that he "causes too many problems" in Indiana, Ron Artest has asked Pacers management to trade him. New York is his stated preference....

About Last Night...
• Film: Codebreakers. You know, I think Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Taran Noah Smith might've been carrying Zachery Ty Bryan all those years on Home Improvement. My favorite part was when he called someone an "a-hole." • College basketball: Nevada 56, UCLA 67. UCLA gets the W, despite Nick Fazekas go...