mosesloaf Page 10 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Two Cops Who Beat Up A Maryland Student Last Year Have Been Indicted
The PG County mounties who went berserk on a Maryland student celebrating his basketball team's win over Duke last year have been charged with felony assault. Took long enough. This episode made national news and even featured an attempted cover-up, when campus surveillance video of the beating we...
Mark Cuban Orders You To Get Rich For America, Pay Taxes At Undisclosed Rates
Walking megaphone Mark Cuban has a new blog post up today in which he talks about "Patriotism" (with a capital 'P') and what we average Americans can do to help our glorious country. His answer: Make a "boatload" of money and pay taxes:...
Here's Video Of Charles Barkley Singing Karaoke This Weekend
Charles Barkley was on Long Island this weekend for a charity golf tournament hosted by Bill Russell when he decided to take his Alabama warble—like "popcorn covered in pine sap"—to Jerry and the Mermaid bar and restaurant for some karaoke. Naturally, he chose Sinatra. Now, you're never supposed t...
Vladimir Putin Is Manly Sportsman Of Sport
Every few months, ubermensch Vladimir Putin is strategically caught on camera engaged in the type of muscular activity that would induce brain clotting in lesser humans. Putin wrassles a bear. Putin hurls a weakling to the earth with an uchi mata. Putin shoots a whale with a crossbow (no, seriously)...
Former Heavyweight Boxing Champ Hunts Yeti, Finds Self
This just in from remote Siberia: a giant hairy creature has been sighted gamboling about the mountains in the Kemerovo Region. The creature is, surprisingly, not Nikolai Valuev (above, left). It is, rather, the Kuzbass Bigfoot and it has been spotted several times near the Azass Cave of Mount Shori...
Alexandre Pato And Leo Messi Create Some Great Goals As AC Milan And Barcelona Kick Off The Champions League Season
Cracker of a match yesterday between AC Milan and Barcelona. Alexandre Pato turned on some otherworldly speed to score for MIlan just 24 seconds after kickoff (above). Then it was Leo Messi's turn (below, with other highlights). How Messi gets in that centering pass to Pedro for the Barcelona equa...
Your Study Guide To <em>The Atlantic</em>'s Massive, Withering Story About The Wretchedness Of The NCAA
If you read one piece of sports journalism this week, it should be The Atlantic magazine's huge cover story by Taylor Branch, a Pulitzer-Prize-winning civil rights historian. Branch isn't doing much new by calling out the NCAA as a morally defective institution—a "classic cartel...[that] presides ov...
The Russian Backwater Samuel Eto'o Now Plays Soccer In Is Too Dangerous For Samuel Eto'o To Live In
Last month, Samuel Eto'o did something very curious and very venal and signed with Anzhi, an obscure team in Russia owned by a rich oil man. Eto'o became the highest paid soccer player in the world ($30 million over three years). But he also has to lace up his boots for Anzhi, which plays in a city ...
The NBA Fines Michael Jordan $100,000 For Saying The Most Inoffensive Things Ever
The first rule of the NBA lockout is that you do not talk about the NBA lockout during the NBA lockout. Even if you're Michael Jordan and you're babbling listless crap to a newspaper in Australia. Because then the NBA will get mad and fine you a month later....
Help Us Finish "The Snydering" (Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction)
As you may have heard, Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit against the Washington City Paper is no more. Which means we will no longer be posting a daily link to the story that so enraged Snyder (and which he failed to read). But we still have to wrap up The Snydering, our satirical, non-libelous Dan Sn...
Kid Shoots 20,317 Baskets Over Labor Day Weekend, Is Randomly The Son Of My Eye Doctor
Sometimes we get a tip in the ol' inbox here that speaks to us for personal reasons. Early this morning, one came in about Will Thomas, a 12-year-old seventh-grader in McLean, Virginia, who decided to spend his Labor Day weekend shooting baskets to raise money for the families of the 17 Navy SEALs k...
Was Arturo Gatti Murdered? A New Investigation Into His Death Says Yes
When undertalented and overtough boxer Arturo Gatti was found dead in a Brazilian hotel in July 2009, police initially charged his stripper-wife Amanda Rodrigues with murder. Rodrigues, it was suspected, had strangled her husband with the strap of her purse as he slept. Three weeks later, the Brazil...
Apologies To Andrés Cantor, But Mountain Biking Announcers Are The Craziest
Young Briton Danny Hart obliterated the best downhill mountain bikers by nearly 12 seconds this weekend at the world championships in Champery, Switzerland. Normally, Hart's performance would soon retreat back into the shadow world that is downhill mountain biking. But no. Not this day. Not if com...
Almost Six Years Later, One MMA Fighter Is Still Campaigning For The UFC's Fastest Knockout
Way back in January 2006 (Did they have cell phones back then?), Duane "Bang" Ludwig scored a flash knockout of glass-jawed Jonathan Goulet at UFC Fight Night 3. Ludwig did it with one punch. He did it in four seconds, according to the official clock. That'd make it the fastest knockout in UFC his...
Watch Leo Messi Dribble Past Half The Nigerian Team To Set Up This Goal
Argentina beat Nigeria 3-1 today in a friendly in Bangladesh. As usual, Lionel Messi was the engine for Los Albicelestes. He fed Gonzalo Higuain with a beautiful one-touch chip for the first goal. But the real peach was the second goal, created by Messi's blistering midfield run (0:45 in the video...
UFC Announces First Fight On Fox; "Fair And Balanced" Coverage On Fox Sports Ensues
In August, the UFC revealed that it was teaming up with Fox to broadcast fights. Details were scarce at the time. The UFC usually reveals such details later in media conference calls. And it usually declares such media conference calls in the manner that Crazy Eddie once sold stereos: "UFC PRESIDENT...
MMA Fighter Has A More Racist Fantasy Football Team Than You
A small confession: I have often dreamed of creating a fantasy basketball team composed exclusively of players with the surnames Jefferson and Jackson. (The team, obviously, would be called the Jefferson-Jacksons, in reference, obviously, to the nascence of the Democratic Party.) Never have I dreame...
Today In Shameless Corporate Behavior: The Redskins Hawk Obsolete Donovan McNabb Souvenir Cups
First, Dan Snyder sold Redskins fans the old peanuts he got from a bankrupt airline, as Dave McKenna mentions in "The Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder." (You have just experienced "We Are All Dave McKenna CCX.") Now Snyder is charging fans at FedExField $6 for Donovan McNabb soda cups. Oh, ...
Now Comes The District Of Columbia To Protest The Dumbassness Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit
It was always going to come to this. After being abused by Dan Snyder for over a decade, DC is finally fighting back. The city's Attorney General this week intervened in Snyder's increasingly desperate case against the Washington City Paper, arguing, more or less, that the wee Redskins owner is a ti...
"Grinding The Crack": A Cool Wingsuit Video With A Questionable Name
The human-size flying squirrel in this video is named Jeb Corliss. He's a professional BASE jumper and a wing-suit pilot. You may remember him as one of the people who BASE jumped into the Super Bowl XXXVIII pregame show. You may not. Corliss has been permanently banned from the Empire State Build...