Former Heavyweight Boxing Champ Hunts Yeti, Finds Self

This just in from remote Siberia: a giant hairy creature has been sighted gamboling about the mountains in the Kemerovo Region. The creature is, surprisingly, not Nikolai Valuev (above, left). It is, rather, the Kuzbass Bigfoot and it has been spotted several times near the Azass Cave of Mount Shoriya. One can only speculate why this news so intrigues Valuev, but the hirsute 7-foot-tall former boxing champ has joined an expedition to stalk the beast:

"I would like to see firsthand what is going on," said the boxer, who has had all manner of injections and vaccinations ahead of his expedition to the remote region. "I'll draw my own conclusions once I've been there."

Could this be a fantastic practical joke? Valuev almost seems to be smirking when he describes his Siberian mission to the BBC:

"I believe that miracles only happen at Christmas time. I doubt whether the yeti is going to run into the road and greet our truck with open arms. But I'll let you know if I see anything."

But let us consider the alternative: that Valuev's quest is something more sublime. That, perhaps, it is the story of a man pursuing that ineffable goal of truly knowing himself: