mosesloaf Page 12 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
FC Barcelona Attempts To Train On National Mall, Gets Smacked Down By Surly Park Police Officer
There was a time when rowdy pick-up soccer games took place on the Ellipse in front of the White House, when a powerful leg could damn near reach the Rose Garden. No longer. The pigs cracked down after 9/11, when it was decreed that foreign commie sports enjoyed by minorities were not to be played...
Floyd Patterson Was A Coward And Other Excerpts From One Of The Best Collections Of Boxing Writing In A Long Time
In the foreword to "At the Fights," a newish boxing anthology that spans over a century of pugilistic history, the novelist Colum McCann observes, quite appropriately, that, "Boxers get told to imagine punching a spot behind your opponent's head, to reach in so far that they can extend the destructi...
To Hell With Turkish Basketball, Kevin Love Wants To Play Beach Volleyball For Jose Cuervo
While most locked out NBA players eye basketball opportunities overseas, one man stands apart as a true patriot. His name is Kevin Love. And Kevin Love loves America. Or, rather, Kevin Love loves NAFTA. According to Darren Rovell, Love has signed an endorsement deal with the Jose Cuervo tequileria a...
FIFA Whistleblower Chuck Blazer Is Too Fat To Fit In Town Cars, Has "Trousered" Millions From International Soccer
Remember Chuck Blazer? He's the American FIFA executive who posts pictures of himself wearing boring Halloween costumes and posing with his pet parrot Max, as if cutesy snapshots might convince us that a Santa Claus imposter isn't as scummy as everyone else attached to FIFA....
MMA Sexpot Gina Carano Is Starring In A Soderbergh Movie With A Bunch Of Real Actors
A lot of female MMA fighters don't like Gina Carano because they don't look like Gina Carano. Well, shoot. The world ain't fair. Carano hasn't fought in over two years, when she got the bejeezus beat out of her by Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos. Yet Carano has leveraged her pretty face into a pretty sw...
UFC Ring Girl Arianny Celeste Spotted Making Out With A Giant Banana Penis
These UFC ring girls have tough lives, let me tell you. They prance about in bikinis, get schtupped by fighters and create art that would make Michelangelo weep. None of them appears to have more than a lone synapse firing upstairs. This one is Arianny Celeste. She's the queen of the ring girls. Acc...
"Champagne King" Don Johnson Is At It Again, This Time With The U.S. Women's Soccer Team
We've mentioned Don Johnson on this site before, first because of his exploits at the blackjack tables in Atlantic City and later because of his exploits in nightclubs, where he buys enormous bottles of expensive champagne and sprays people with his foam. On Monday, party Johnson popped up in Avenue...
If You're Going To Break Your Nose, You Might As Well Break It Like This
This is Ryan McGillivray, a mixed martial artist who was on the last season of The Ultimate Fighter. To be more precise, this is Ryan McGillivray after taking a knee to his face in training. His new nose looks to be an inch off-kilter. The picture has been making the rounds on MMA blogs after McGill...
Trent Williams Will Soon Be Wearing A $150,000 Silverback Gorilla Chain In The Club
One of Dan Steinberg's readers directed him to a video (see below) in which a jeweler shows off one of the more absurdly blingy items a professional athlete has ever commissioned. It's a black-and-white diamond encrusted silverback gorilla chain for Redskins tackle Trent "Silverback" Williams. Supp...
Yao Ming's Career Gets The Taiwanese Animation Treatment
In this touching Taiwanese animation tribute, Yao Ming has an 80-inch vertical. He rides rockets. He rides sharks. He retires. It's all very poignant, especially the bit in the beginning where his mother gives birth to a basketball out of which hatches a baby Yao. Does that count against the one-c...
An Old Video Of A Dumb Ref Letting A Dazed Fighter Nearly Get Killed
A little gruesome, this one. Or a lot. It's a Brazilian vale tudo fight. That means "anything goes." And boy does it go, thanks to this blind fool of a referee. The video comes via Frank Shamrock, who calls it "really sad." Yes....
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part V: Return To River Bend
We already posted your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is nailed to a cross while dogs gnaw off its toes. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All...
Here's The Harry Potter-Referencing Legal Brief The ACLU Filed In The Dumbass Dan Snyder Libel Suit
The ACLU filed a brief yesterday in D.C. Superior Court slamming Dan Snyder for his dumbass libel lawsuit against the Washington City Paper and asking the court to toss out the case. D.C. councilmember Mary Cheh joined the brief, along with a raft of influential news organizations such as The Americ...
The Women's World Cup Final Totally Kicked The Royal Wedding's Ass In Tweets
Because one would never want to rely merely on television ratings to assess the popularity of women's sports, one must do the next best thing when one is a member of a generation of navel-gazing tech addicts: use Twitter! Oh, hooray. What ever would we do without Twitter? What ever would we do witho...
Kentucky Demolition Derby Winner Charged With DUI After Winning Demolition Derby
Bad hoodoo from the Jessamine County Fair. Dark times. A champion laid low. On Wednesday, David L. Warner Jr., of Nicholasville, Ky., drove a beaut of a derby in the ultra-competitive small car class. Warner demolished many things on his way to the title. But instead of getting to enjoy his victory,...
So Long, Patrick Vieira. You'll Always Be "The Big Sausage" To Arsenal Fans
Patrick Vieira retired yesterday. This is sad. Vieira was one of the best midfielders ever, an end-to-end hard man who won a 1998 World Cup and a 2000 European Championship trophy with France and anchored Arsenal during three Premier League championship campaigns, including the 2003-04 "Invincible" ...
The Soulful Paintings Of Brittney Palmer, UFC Octagon Girl
This little lady is Brittney Palmer. She's the UFC's new octagon girl. Her job is to flounce about a cage in a bathing suit while intoxicated meatheads shower her with lustful stares and wolf whistles. It's a helluva job, and Palmer does it well. But she's much more than her profession! She's also a...
Mick McCarthy's Secret To Successfully Managing A Soccer Team: Handshakes
Wolverhampton manager Mick McCarthy has finally revealed the secret to his immense success. Every morning, McCarthy greets his players by firmly pressing his palm meat against their palm meat, curling his fingers around their fingers and ecstatically pumping his hand inside theirs. Over and over. Un...
What It's Like When The Media Circle Their Prey (With Attorneys!): Documents From ESPN's Lawsuit Against Ohio State
When news of the Jim Tressel memorabilia scandal broke in March, the media peppered Ohio State with public records requests. Ohio State deflected as many as possible. The school made life difficult for us. More important, the school made life difficult for ESPN. And you do not anger the worldwide le...
The First Casualty Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit Might Be Dan Snyder's Dumbass Lawyer
Failed journalist and wretched lawyer Dave Donovan announced today that he's leaving his job as Chief Operating Officer of the Redskins to return to the law firm whence he came (and where, ostensibly, lawyers can actually convince clients not to file dumbass lawsuits). Donovan attributes his decisio...