mosesloaf Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Soccer Fans In Portland Behave Curiously Like Soccer Fans In Any City Outside The United States
Look at all these throaty buggers backing MLS's new team — the Portland Timbers. The Timbers made their home debut last night. Portland fans got to sing the national anthem. So what if the Star Spangled Banner is the only song most Americans have at least some handle on that's not Top 40 dreck? (P...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXIX (Alleged Arson Edition)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit burns burns burns. Mwahahahahaha!...

Wizards Don't Want You Giggling At The Prospect Of Two Men Kissing On Their Kiss-Cam
Unless you're into losing, the best part of a Wizards game for many years has been the kiss-cam, a silly distraction during timeouts that puts an opposite-sex couple in the crowd on the big screen and urges them to smooch. It's funny because you never know if the people actually will kiss. You don't...

In His Own Words: Thomas Stancil, Running Back (2002-03)
Thomas Stancil received oral sex at a party and was suspended....

In His Own Words: Tico Pringle, Defensive Back (2006)
BYU suspended Tico Pringle after an ex-girlfriend told the honor code office he had forced her to have sex....

In His Own Words: Ray Hudson, Running Back (2004-06)
An unmarried Ray Hudson had to leave BYU because he had a child out of wedlock....

Two Decades Of Honor Code Violations
This gallery depicts almost every BYU athlete we found with an honor code incident since 1993. (Certain players have been excluded to protect our sources.) The information in the gallery comes from media reports, BYU profiles, and interviews with athletes. It is by no means definitive. Many of these...

The Truth About Race, Religion, And The Honor Code At BYU
Over the past month, BYU has been held up as a symbol of all that is decent in college sports for its unsparing treatment of Brandon Davies, the African-American basketball player who violated the school's honor code by reportedly having sex with his girlfriend. Davies was suspended shortly before t...

Venus Serena Williams Returns To The Court In Fabulous Pink Catwoman Outfit
When one comes back from injury, one should do it in style. Maybe Venus Serena will wear the mask part of this ensemble for her French Open warmup tournament in Brussels next month. Please. Photo via Serenawilliams twitter....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is decomposing in the bog....

Only Insects Can Stop NASCAR's Chosen One, Trevor Bayne
Divine superpowers failed Trevor Bayne this weekend when he was unable to ward off a personal plague in the form of a bug bite on his elbow that hospitalized the Daytona Cup winner. Bayne had been unstoppable since Daytona, registering an outstanding 40th in the Subway Fresh Fit 500 and a blazing-ho...

<em>Wall Street Journal</em> Photoshops Signs Of Phillies Fans, Misapprehends Minds Of Phillies Fans
Well, this is embarrassing. The Wall Street Journal ran a story last Thursday about how Phillies fans have mellowed on the Mets. The article was a re-write of a story that appeared two days earlier in the The Philadelphia Inquirer. Fair enough. Perhaps Philadelphians behave like that now, although a...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets its teeth rapped in with a wrench....

Wayne Rooney Curses And The World Heaves
Shrek got angry after scoring a hat trick against West Ham last Saturday and spat a few acrid words into the camera. Now Shrek will lose 250,000 squid and miss an FA Cup semifinal because some asinine arbiters of morality in sports have decided there's no cursing on the pitch....

David Stern Memorialized As A Chainsaw-Wielding Honey Badger In These NBA Lockout Attack Ads
Begun, the Stern-Hunter labor wars have. Since we won't have any professional basketball next season, we might as well have funny videos lampooning a commissioner whose public behavior increasingly resembles that of a Bergin Hunt and Fish Club member. These come our way from J.E. Skeets at The Bas...

Mark Cuban Will Pay College Journalists Something To Do Something With Data About Something Having To Do With Sports
Mark Cuban does not much appreciate this blog, I have learned. Or didn't, once upon a time. In fact, Cuban does not much appreciate sports journalists in general. He's been in the sports biz for 12 years and thinks the "the dumbest guys in the room are always the media guys." Cuban, of course, think...

Justin Bieber Training With Barcelona Is Much Worse Than Ochocinco In Kansas City
No, goddammit. No. This should not be allowed. And if it is, why isn't Gerard Pique flying in with both boots?...

25 Jager Bombs For Only $223.75 Canadian Dollars! An Analysis Of The Epic Receipt From "The #1 Sports Bar In North America."
Here's what I like about this receipt, a full version of which you can view here: You can actually track the progressive drunkeness of whatever pack of Canadian hyenas to which it belongs by their orders. Let's see...they sensibly start with food — nachos, sliders, voodoo shrimp, chicken tenders; an...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets ejected from the court system like the foul meconium that it is....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit apologizes to us all for being written by lawyers who were clearly browbeaten by Dan Snyder into writing anything at all, given what a dumbas...