rickchand-old Page 147 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m.: Good Morning, SportsNation: Has anyone witnessed this? What is it? Does Al Roker do the weather? • Noon: MLB with Rob Neyer: Christ, Ryan Howard just hit another homer as I was typing this. • 2 p.m.: NCAA FB with Ivan Maisel: ...
All We Can Say Is, Crikey
This is probably not even considered inside the realm of sports, but when a guy in khaki shorts suddenly appears on your television wrestling a large emu — when no large emu wrestling had ever been on your television before — well, that's sports to us. We were saddened to learn of the death of "The ...
The Daily Closer: Red Pinstripes In Morning, NL Take Warning
Notes from a day in baseball:...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while realizing that a bikini is no longer standard Monday wear ... • Golf: Tiger wins again. The rest of you are worthless and weak! Now drop and give me 20. • College football: Gary Cismesia, not just a rare skin disease anymore. FSU tops Miami 13-10. • MLB: Colors ... Manny's retu...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as, for some reason, the cat seems to be missing and the dog is wearing a bib ... • Boxing: Super middleweights, Allan Green vs. Emmett Linton, at Tulsa. Cut me, Mick! [ESPN2] • College football: Nevada at Fresno State. Now we're talkin'. Think we'll see some offense? [ESPN] • MLB: Atl...
Hopefully There's Peanut Butter Up There
Man has debated the true nature of vegetables since the beginning of recorded history. Does celery have a soul? Do carrots believe in a higher existence? And what's the deal with garden cress? We don't think we would be able to sleep at night if we thought that, when he passes to his great reward,...
Gentlemen, Start Your Loos
So you've heeded our advice and contacted the folks at Donkey Sports Inc., for some sweet donkey basketball action. Congratulations. But to your horror, you've discovered that they are out of donkeys! What now? Well, we've heard your girlish shrieks, and have come to the rescue. It's time for Plan...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m. Good Morning, SportsNation: What the ... what's this? Is Joan Lunden involved? Will there be a cooking segment? • Noon: NASCAR driver Carl Edwards: Had enough Talledega Nights quotes to last you eight lifetimes yet? • 3 p.m. FF...
The Closer: OK, For One Night, We Don't Despise You
Notes from a day in baseball:...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while watching the movie "Snakes on a DVD Three Months Earlier Than Planned" ... • Tennis: Take that, Cyprus! Agassi takes marathon win over eighth-seeded Marcos Baghdatis, 6-4, 6-4, 3-6, 5-7, 7-5, at U.S. Open. • College Football: Spurrier gets 150th win the old-fashioned way ... wi...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as a grassroots effort begins to bring new support to the lagging Barbaro HOF campaign ... • College football: South Carolina at Mississippi State. Remember Bulldogs fans, Dean Wormer says there will be no fun of any kind! [ESPN] • MLB: San Francisco at Atlanta. Our homer friends in th...
Things That PETA Is Better Off Not Knowing About, No. 112
If you're like us, you frequently ask yourselves, "where can I find top, reliable donkeys for my donkey sporting event?" Fortunately we found Donkey Sports, Inc., and our troubles are over. For the finest in Donkey Softball and Donkey Basketball events, we highly recommend this company....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon: NCAA FB with Todd McShay: We still say that this title sounds like a Nickelodeon sitcom. • 1 p.m. NFL with Keith Kidd: Can I take issue with ESPN's 'Top 10 Toughest Players in the NFL' list, even though I have no plans to read it...
Embrace Me, My Sweet Inflatable You
The competitive sex doll rafting community is still reeling over Tuesday's shocking conclusion to the Bubba Bobble Challenge Sex Doll Races tournament near St. Petersburg. We briefly touched on this yesterday, but we want our readers to know that we are going to stay with this story, and all of it...
The Closer: It's Easy Being Green
Notes from a day in baseball:...
About Last Night
What you missed while "topping it off," as they say ... • MLB: The Monroe Doctrine ... Tigers beat Yankees in ninth, avoiding doubleheader sweep. • Tennis: '24' ... Andy Roddick celebrates birthday by advancing in U.S. Open. Come on Andy, we're running out of time! • Softball: Meanwhile, in China .....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after police return your enormous burrito ... • MLB: Detroit at New York Yankees. A preview of the ALCS (oops, did we say that out loud?) [ESPN] • Tennis: U.S. Open, men's first and women's second round, at New York. Oh Squeegee boy, you missed a spot ... [USA] • WNBA: Finals, Game 1, ...
Minor Enterprise: Save Me, Obi Wan Rabbit
Welcome to Minor Enterprise, where each Wednesday we preview, and occasionally review, the great events and promotions of minor league baseball. If you have a tip about a minor league promotion, or perhaps you've been arrested for public drunkeness while wearing a mascot beaver costume, contact us...
Planning For That Sad Time When Barbaro Leaves Us
If there's one thing we know, it's that life is short. But thanks to our new friends at Heavenly Images.com, no loved one ever has to leave us entirely. For a small fee, Heavenly Images will keep them with you forever, in a custom painting, hanging out with Jesus in the clouds. We couldn't really th...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11:15 a.m: Baseball with Joe Morgan: When your chat is 45 minutes, and you arrive 30 minutes late, it's like having an extra day off! • 1 p.m. Football with Mel Kiper: Fantasy Football Rule No. 28: No one is less fun to participate in ...