samer Page 23 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lions Players Try Not To Freak Out As They Touch Mystery Objects
The Detroit Lions subjected their players to excruciating dread for their fans’ amusement, and this all somehow happened off the field. These guys had to reach into a box containing an unknown but harmless object and try to remain calm. Receiver Marvin Jones Jr. was bad at remaining calm....
Bleacher Report Founder Wins Right To Put His Sweaty Hands All Over The Gawker Archives
The archives of our former sister site Gawker now belong to this goon. Bryan Goldberg, the founder of Bleacher Report, a sports site for idiots, and Bustle, the women’s site that assumes women are stupid, won the rights to the defunct Gawker.com in a bankruptcy auction today, as reported by the Wall...
The World's Ugliest Dog Is Dead, Probably Not Of Ugliness<em></em>
Weeks after being crowned the World’s Ugliest Dog, 9-year-old bulldog Zsa Zsa died Tuesday. She was assassinated while delivering a speech at a town hall. No, okay, she passed in her sleep....
Cardinals President Michael Bidwill Is A Condescending, Hypocritical Shit
Arizona Cardinals President Michael Bidwill, who used his team’s site to support Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, went on a conservative radio show Wednesday to continue to push for his old high school pal. Bidwill also bellyached about how unfair it is to be criticized for requiring that NFL ...
Cardinals President Michael Bidwill, Who Wants To Get Back To Football, Uses Team To Make Political Statement
As the case of Colin Kaepernick has shown, silent demonstration is employment poison in the NFL. If a person wants to push their political views, it’s best to be in charge of a team, so they can also co-opt said team’s website and Twitter account to stump for an old high school chum....
Alex Ovechkin Really, Really Loves The Song "My Neck, My Back"
Stanley Cup winner Alex Ovechkin is wringing as much out of the offseason as he can, presumably so he can drink it while shirtless. The Washington Capitals captain took his championship tour to his hometown of Moscow this past weekend. Ovi attended a viewing party for the national team’s World Cup m...
ESPN Nukes Its Comment Sections, Unfairly Silencing Thousands Of Morons
No longer will you be able to read an ESPN.com article and then underneath receive the dumbest possible reactions to it. The Worldwide Leader has phased out its Facebook-hybrid comment sections, as confirmed by a company spokesperson this week. None of the keyboard mashing will be archived—they will...
Dexter Fowler Seems Miserable Playing For The Cardinals
Since the start of Dexter Fowler’s second season with the Cardinals, he has hit poorly, lost playing time in right field to Harrison Bader and Jose Martinez, and been tossed under the bus by his team’s president of baseball operations. Playing in St. Louis sucks!...
Ethiopian Distance Runner Pulls Fellow Countryman By His Shorts After Believing He Was Tripped
The end of today’s men’s 5,000-meter race at the IAAF Diamond League meet in Lausanne, Switzerland devolved into infighting between two Ethiopians when one runner felt he was tripped and yanked his fellow citizen’s shorts in retaliation....
Brewers Outfielder Keon Broxton Was Pumped After His Fantastic Home-Run Robbery
Keon Broxton is only getting playing time because the Brewers needed a center fielder to replace the DL-bound Lorenzo Cain at the end of June, but he seems determined to do as much cool shit as possible before he’s no longer needed....
Phil Kessel: Nice Roommate, Tries Hard, Loves His Goldendoodle
Penguins winger Phil Kessel is a reticent person, and he likes to keep it that way. Unfortunately for him, his former teammate’s blowing up his spot. New Blues center Tyler Bozak showed up on The Players’ Tribune and explained what it was like to live with Kessel when the two played in Toronto. Phil...
Deadspin Up All Night: Who'll Be My Role Model
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The Lakers Are Putting Together A Highly Combustible Roster Around LeBron
The Lakers have LeBron James. Good for them. They now also have a handful of guys who seem like ideal targets to absorb LeBron’s ire. ...
Virtually No One In San Diego Is Listening To Sports Radio Goon Dan Sileo
You may ask, “Who is Dan Sileo?” Reader, you are lucky—and not alone. The ex-Miami Hurricanes football player and sports radio lunk, who has twice been fired for moronic remarks, is drawing in no listeners on the disastrous San Diego radio station 97.3 The Fan....
The Yankees Just Absolutely Teed Off On David Price
The last two months had been pretty solid for Red Sox pitcher David Price. After one brutal showing against the Rangers on May 3 (seven earned runs, 3.2 IP), he hadn’t allowed more than three earned runs in any of his past nine starts, and had a 2.72 ERA over that period. Then Price was completely l...
LeBronWatch Is Over, Because LeBron James Has Signed With The Lakers
LeBronWatch has ended: LeBron James will sign a four-year, $154 million deal with the Los Angeles Lakers. Klutch Sports Group, which sounds like a Macedonian gag news site but is actually the agency founded by LeBron’s pal and agent Rich Paul, broke the news. The announcement has a blatant disregar...
Deadspin Up All Night: Ring Ring
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Deadspin Up All Night: We Have Given Our Bodies
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Extremely Cool World Cup Fan Lights Cigarette With His Wallet
Is this guy at today’s Iran-Spain match using a damn wallet to light his cig? Why yes, he is. It must be one of those magic flame wallets. No, seriously, they exist....
Cubs Reliever Brandon Morrow Says He Hurt Himself While Taking Off His Pants
The Cubs didn’t use closer Brandon Morrow in either of their games Tuesday against the Dodgers, instead relying on a bevy of other relievers. He would’ve been really helpful in the first game, which the Cubs lost 4-3 after Justin Wilson blew a 3-2 lead in the ninth. According to the team, the reason...