sussman-old Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Select NFL Jerseys Marked Down If Their Team Sucks
All right, another after-Christmas NFL merchandise sale! It's perfect for people with January birthdays, January anniversaries, or if you really, really enjoy Martin Luther King Day. There's just one catch. The 30 percent price cut only applies to teams who really suck....
If you're a fan of beatdown basketball, top-ranked North Carolina has a slight lead over NC State at halftime, 43-13. If this gets any worse, the Heels might put skip their bench players and just sub in the Saint Louis Billikens. [Yahoo! Sports] Update: NC State had kind of a better second half with...
David Banks Is Significantly Worse At Long Division Than He Was A Day Ago
I'm trying hard to remember the hardest I was ever hit in the head. It might've been when I was three or four, and the kid down the street struck me right in the coconut with a croquet mallet. Even at an early age, I probably should have been aware that his wielding of a croquet mallet was unsafe...
Biding Time Until Tonight's NFL Playoffs
Considering the NFL playoffs don't begin until 4:30 and you can't sleep in until 4 on Saturdays anymore (ah, freshman year), the afternoon consists of very little beyond college basketball. So my retro video game recommendation today is Kid Chamelon for the Sega Genesis. Back then it was very meta t...
Knicks W-L Record Leaked To Dolan
It's come to this. James Dolan is so bored at Knicks games games, he's brought along Winkles the sockpuppet to entertain him. Of course, he could just replace Isiah Thomas with a more competent coach, but he clearly wouldn't do that now, after all they've been through. After giving him a $24 million...
51.8 Gigawatts!?
After a loss to the Atlanta Hawks, Udonis Haslem looked at a picture of his family and saw his siblings fading out of focus. He had no choice but to set things right and change the past. See, back on December 18 against the Atlanta Hawks, a last-minute foul that should have gone to Haslem instead wa...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while making Baghdad's first-ever snow infidels... • NHL: Wild top Blackhawks 5-2 as Josh Harding saves 41; 300 wounded. • NBA: LeBron James leads Cavs to: (a) win, (b) loss, (c) the locker room at halftime, (d) none of the above, (e) both a and c. • Justice system: Bail shocks O.J. ...
Who Are We? "The Blues!" Who Are We Gonna Beat? "The Blues!"
There doesn't seem to be a bevy of interesting games — even for soccer fans! — save for one game, Man City and Everton. They're separated by a mere three points at the top of the standings "tables," and Man City hasn't lost a game "match" to anyone recently except Tottenham. That kind of consistency...
Salvaging The Massacre In Mobile
Poor Illinois. Poor Hawaii. You folks think you can fathom utter and total humiliation in a January bowl game? Because when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your alma mater's football team, you'll know what to do!...
Patriots First Round Draft Pick Gets Progressively Worse
Because that's pretty much all the 49ers have left to stay motivated at this point. Their record helps that pick they famously gave to New England continue to plummet. A silly little upset of Tampa Bay puts them at 5-10 and currently the Patriots pick 8th....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while perusing fake Craigslist ads... • 8:00 p.m. — Hawaii Bowl: East Carolina vs. Boise State. It's so inconvenient to have to bring your own blue paint on road trips, but it's worth it. [ESPN] • 8:15 p.m. — NFL: Redskins at Vikings. Or, a rematch of the colonization of Newfoundland. ...
He Who Wears This Jersey Shall Be Filled With Sudden Rage
By now it's probably too late to order any gifts online. That's why in case I forgot anybody, I bought The Simpsons Movie DVD and kept it unwrapped. "Oh, I knew you wanted this so badly, I forewent wrapping it. That's how much I care!" But if that special someone is a baseball fan, maybe they can wa...
Patriots Imposing Their Willzyx On Miami
It took a little while for that lead to stretch beyond 7, but New England began pouring on the points in the second quarter. My favorite part of the game was when Dolphins d-back Lance Schulters appeared to have intercepted Tom Brady's pass, but a second later Jabar Gaffney ran untouched to the end ...
When Canadians Visit Phoenix
• Roberto Luongo dances rather well to Elton John songs. [Orland Kurtenblog] • Pete Carroll fears nothing. Not even you. [Super Punch] • Perhaps Mike Lupica is the real host of "Sports Reporters." [The Big Lead] • UConn basketball, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she...
Bears Upset Packers, Their Quarterback Sort Of Helped
A cursory look at the 1 o'clock games led one to make a face comparable to sniffing a plate of expired deli meat. But sometimes expired meat is salvageable, which led to the creation of the hot dog. Similarly, this bundle of games gave us a couple of surprises....
It's December 23. Nobody's reading this. So let's take this time to congratulate Canadian curler Kevin Martin and his team on winning The National curling tournament this afternoon, giving him five straight curling Grand Slam titles. See what happens the weekend before Christmas? Curling updates fin...
West Virginians Should Get Out Of The Conspiracy Theory Business
There's been a wave of sympathy for Michigan in the past year, and I for one hoped they were going to find a good solid coach from the lower ranks to bring up, like Ohio State did with Jim Tressel. That didn't happen, and my sympathy swung to West Virginia for losing their fabled coach Rich Rodrigue...
Kevin Everett Picked The Wrong Game To Attend
For as much as he's been through this year, injured Bills tight end Kevin Everett has to be all confused why the Giants aren't exactly collapsing according to plan this late in the season....