He Who Wears This Jersey Shall Be Filled With Sudden Rage

By now it's probably too late to order any gifts online. That's why in case I forgot anybody, I bought The Simpsons Movie DVD and kept it unwrapped. "Oh, I knew you wanted this so badly, I forewent wrapping it. That's how much I care!" But if that special someone is a baseball fan, maybe they can wait a week or so to get their very own authentic Roger Clemens Cleveland Indians jersey.

No, really. Someone sent us this listing for an Indians jersey, and it's available in five sizes:

• Adult Medium • Adult Large • Adult X-Large • Adult XX-Large • Roger Clemens

Nobody's really quite sure what it does, because choosing it from the menu snaps back to "Adult Medium." But I'm sure once he finds out he's named in a series of jersey sizes, he'll come out firing on the YouTubes denying that he was ever at one time in his life, a measurement.

Cleveland Indians Replica Player Alternate Jersey [Majestic Athletic]