tcraggs22 Page 100 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Why Your Half-Day Sucks
Because most of you are stuck in traffic right now, this week's exciting installment of Why George Will Sucks will run next week. Keep sending in your Dodger Stadium stories: [email protected]....

OK, Enough With The Contrarian MVP Crap
Joe Mauer is your AL MVP. Not Mark Teixeira. Not Kendry Morales. Not Derek Jeter. He is MVP by just about every standard imaginable except for the one applied by bored sportswriters who need copy during an inert pennant race....

A Season Of Failure, Graphical Edition
A visually oriented Mets fan does a great Edward Tufte number on his team's injury-ridden, hell-spawn season. The best thing you can say about the Mets now is that no club inspires such rigorously detailed postmortems. Amazin'! [seanengelhardt.com]...

<em>National Review</em> Guy Is Tired Of All Those Lefty Sportswriters Who Don't Really Exist
Whiny Jay Nordlinger's had it up to here with those ragingly liberal sportswriters (that's you, Comrade Cannizzaro!) always spilling politics in his sports. "Why do they have to flick some mud into your banana split?" he writes, from Neptune. [NRO]...

Jason Whitlock Stages His Own Private Sports Media Roast
In his latest, Whitlock uses the occasion of Erin Andrews' Oprah appearance to go all Jeffrey Ross-on-Bea Arthur on his colleagues. Reilly's column: "read by tens of hundreds of readers who find it while looking for Bill Simmons' column." Burn!...

Carolla Needlessly Rants About Simmons' "Retard Chicken Pussy" Bosses (UPDATE)
On his podcast, Adam Carolla declared that some "retard fucking hack" at ESPN wouldn't allow the Sports Male to appear on his show. The rant is a thing of beauty that earns only a minor demerit for being totally untrue....

Vin Scully Talks A Lot, Science Proves
The quants at the Wall Street Journal, continuing their whimsical efforts to reduce the sporting universe to a ranked list, have scientifically determined which of our baseball broadcasters is the chattiest. And, somehow, it isn't Michael Kay....

The Michigan Fans' Jihad Against Michael Rosenberg
Michigan fanboys still clutching their pearls over this weekend's Detroit Free Press exposé have rallied mindlessly around Jonathan Chait, who has now written two guest columns accusing Free Press columnist Michael Rosenberg, the story's co-author, of waging an "anti-Rodriguez jihad."...

You're With Me, Star
A Deadspin operative in Bristol sends us this photo from ESPN's new walk of fame. "Berman has his own star," the tipster writes, "and I think I saw Bob Ley spit on it as he walked to the ESPN Cafeteria."...

The Math Of Kahn: Ricky Rubio's Deal In Spain Could Work Out For Timberwolves
As expected, the Basketball Jonas has signed with FC Barcelona, meaning he'll join the NBA in 2011, at the earliest. This is bad news for basketball fans and Gillette's marketing department but maybe — maybe — not David Kahn's Timberwolves....

Brett Favre's Just A Kid Out There Who Wants To End Your Career
As noted earlier, Brett Favre launched himself in the direction of Eugene Wilson's cruciate ligaments last night — an undeniable prick move that surely no one would chalk up to Favre's oft-cited youthful exuberance. Right?...

Matt Ryan Is A Handsome Man, Science Proves
The screeching teenyboppers at the Wall Street Journal bring word that Matt Ryan is the most knee-meltingly dreamy quarterback in the NFL. It's true because science says so. And believe it or not, this actually sort of matters....

Breaking: ESPN.com Commenter Adds Valuable Perspective
Appended to the ESPN.com story about Weepin' Rich Rodriguez's press conference was an intriguing comment from one utah_utes_33. "I play for a D-I football program," utah_utes_33 begins....

Plague Of Insects Descends Upon Scott Boras' Angel Stadium Suite
"The bees occupied his front-row seats directly behind home plate for the first two innings. They were removed with the help of a vacuum during the third inning." And then, lo, the Lord hardened the superagent's heart. [AP]...

The Adventures Of Blazer Girl In Bristol
Blazer Girl recently toured ESPN's Bristol compound as part of the network's 30th anniversary celebration. She encountered several strange and frightening plastic creatures. She also encountered the decoy coyotes. Her photos and a full report....

Hooray! America Is Still Dominant In Something!
The U.S. has won another LLWS. Let us reflect on the wise words of former attorney general Herbert Brownell: "The young Americans who compose the Little League will prove a hitless target for the peddlers of godless ideology." [AP]...

Timberwolves Cornering The Market On Scrappy White Guys You Probably Hated In The '80s
New Minnesota coach Kurt Rambis is adding former Bad Boy Bill Laimbeer to his staff. Tom Chambers should probably check in with his agent right about now. [Star Tribune]...

Did Miguel Tejada Tip Pitches In 2001?
The New York Times seems to think he did, only the paper says so in such a mealymouthed and sidelong way that one starts to wonder if something else is going on here....

Jonah Keri Cheats Death
"A deafening series of violent bumps. A patch of thickly clustered trees. A terrified scream. A sickening crash," writes the great Jonah Keri, in what has to be the most improbable and life-affirming story you'll read all day. [JonahKeri.com]...

Michigan Is About To Feel The Burn
The Detroit Free Press took a good, hard look at the Wolverines' off-season training regimen and found that Rich Rodriguez seems to have drawn heavily on the fitness precepts laid out in the Bataan Death March....