tcraggs22 Page 91 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tomorrow: Live Chat With A <em>Sports Illustrated</em> Writer Who's Actually Familiar With The Internet
Chris Ballard, SI wordsmith and author of The Art of a Beautiful Game: The Thinking Fan's Tour of the NBA will be here (and not some Geocities page at the far end of the Internet) at 1 p.m. Join us....

The Night They Drove The Dickheads Down
Ole Miss' band will stop playing one of the school's fight songs because some history-minded folk insisted on chanting "The South will rise again!" at the end. (Rise from what, exactly? Explosive population growth?) [Commercial Appeal]...

Upon Further Review, Baseball Is Stupid
Baseball won't be expanding instant replay anytime soon, because baseball doesn't want its outcomes to be an accurate reflection of what transpires on the field so much as an expression of the yearnings in Tim McClelland's heart....

Breaking: World Frantically Googling The Sports Guy's Wife, Bruno Kirby
As Leitch noted earlier, the fascination with the Sports Fella extends, a little creepily, to his wife. And now look: She's the No. 11 Google hot trend, two notches below "sammy sosa bleached" and 19 sports ahead of "bruno kirby."...

Michael Phelps Wears "Old-Style" Swimsuit And Facial Hair, Suddenly Sucks
"Sporting a beard and an old-style swimsuit, Michael Phelps missed out on two finals and barely qualified for a third Tuesday at a World Cup short-course meet." [AP]...

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Refreshed And Resurrected Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

A Few Million Pesos Later, Angel Villalona Is A Free Man, For Now
Angel Villalona, the Giants prospect accused of fatally shooting a man in his native Dominican Republic, is out on bail and out 2 million pesos, too, having reportedly paid the victim's family to drop charges against him. That's $55,000....

The Handwringing Over Jeremy Tyler's Foreign Adventure Has Begun
Jeremy Tyler left high school to play professionally in the Holy Land, where the plan was to do a credible Kevin Garnett impression and expose the folly of the minimum-age rule. The plan was not to play like Oliver Miller....

Kiss Dick Bavetta Goodbye?
Bavetta, the Barkley-kissing ref suspected of involvement in pretty much every conspiracy dating back to the assassination of Caesar, says he might retire at season's end. At least, that's what David Stern told him to say. [Orlando Sentinel, via Slam]...

Donald Sterling Continues To Get Away With Being The Most Evil Man In Sports
Racist greedhead Donald Sterling will pay $2.73 million to settle a federal housing bias lawsuit accusing him of all kinds of sleazy and thuggish behavior, none of which matters in David Stern's NBA if you're an owner....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Blessing The Child Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

The Pop-Psychologizing Of Alex Rodriguez Will Never End
A-Rod finished the postseason with a .365/.500/.808 line. Apparently, this had nothing to do with his being a wonderful ballplayer and everything to do with personal transformation, moral courage and self-actualization. Meet your 2009 playoffs MVP: Freakin' Jonathan Livingston Seagull....

In Exhibition Game, Marcus Jordan Scores One Point, Costs School Several Million Dollars
Michael's son wore a pair of Air Jordans in Central Florida's exhibition opener yesterday, and now adidas has petulantly ended its relationship with the school. Marcus went 0-for-3 in 23 minutes against something called St. Leo. [Orlando Sentinel, UCF Athletics]...

Chip Caray Surrenders His Crown To Chris Rose As The Most Loathed Broadcaster In Baseball
And so these playoffs end much as they began: with people on the Internet calling a broadcaster a "total ass whip." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Chris Rose....

Important Baseball Game Not Involving The Red Sox Still Somehow All About The Red Sox
Shocking development, via Dan Shaughnessy: The ongoing longitudinal study of narcissistic personality disorder known as Red Sox Nation has somehow contrived to turn Game 6 of a Phillies-Yankees World Series into a drama centering on ... Red Sox Nation...

Rick Reilly® Has Annoyed A New Constituency: Pizza Delivery People
Reilly® tossed off this little item the other day about Hawaii's quarterback, Bryant Moniz, who moonlights as a pizza delivery guy. Bad jokes ensued ("Hawaii fans go pie-eyed ..."), amusing precisely no one. Least of all other pizza delivery guys....

Darren Rovell Outrage Goes Up To 11
Yes, that's the Michael McKean — David St. Hubbins! Lenny from Laverne & Shirley! — calling Darren Rovell a dick. Oh, snap. [@MJMcKean, earlier]...

Sports Fella Just Threw Up In His Mouth
[Twitter, via Jon Greenberg of Team Marketing Report]...

Darren Rovell Is Technically Sorry; Old Canard About African Runners Lives On
Remember how CNBC's Darren Rovell went weirdly nativist yesterday, calling technical American Meb Keflezighi a "ringer" and grouching that his New York City Marathon victory shouldn't count as a real American achievement? Yeah, his bad....

World Series Open Thread: It's Always Poultry In Philadelphia
We (most likely) bid farewell to the 2009 season with this absurd tableau of a gentleman in a chicken suit, a sad Tigger and a clutch of Citizens Bank Park security guards, beseeching them to kindly settle the fuck down....