tom-ley Page 373 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Minnesota Wild Land Zach Parise And Ryan Suter
As reported by the Star Tribune's Michael Russo, the Minnesota Wild have pulled off quite the NHL free agency coup. The team has agreed to terms on a 13-year contracts with defensman Ryan Suter and forward Zach Parise...

Double Amputee Oscar Pistorius Will Compete In The 2012 Olympics
Less than a week ago, it appeared that Oscar Pistorius's feel-good story had come to an end, as the double amputee sprinter had failed to post a worthy time in the 400 meter race at the Olympic qualifiers, effectively killing his chances to represent South Africa at this summer's games....

Jaromir Jagr Signs With Dallas Stars, Is Still Old And Not Very Good
Earlier today, Jaromir Jagr—who said on Sunday that 21 teams made him offers— signed a one-year deal with the Dallas Stars. It's worth $4.5 million....

Dontrelle Willis Retires. Mark Prior Tries To Make A Comeback. Baseball Remains A Sadistic Bastard.
Dontrelle Willis retired on Monday at the age of 30, bringing to an end one of the most baffling baseball careers of the past decade. The day before, Mark Prior, nursing an oblique strain, threw a bullpen session for the Pawtucket Red Sox. He hadn't pitched in a game since June 21, when he scuffled ...

Olympics Field Guide: Im Dong-Hyun, The Lethal Blind Archer
Name: Im Dong-Hyun...

Tony La Russa: Asshole Or Dipshit? Let's Discuss!
Tony La Russa was never the cuddliest of MLB managers, and he's done a lot of things that would preclude him from ever being invited to anyone's Christmas party. But the big question remains, is La Russa a dipshit or an asshole? Let's settle this in the discussion section below....

Tony La Russa Explains Decision Not To Put Johnny Cueto On All-Star Team By Admitting To Violating MLB CBA
Uh oh, we got ourselves a scandal, or something. Cincinnati Reds manager Dusty Baker and former St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa have never been especially fond of each other. Their relationship got even testier over the weekend when La Russa, who was in charge of making final selections f...
!["It's Just All Made Up And Flagellant": A Tour Of Fred Davis's Hilarious Legal Troubles [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17rafso5oxas7jpg.jpg)
"It's Just All Made Up And Flagellant": A Tour Of Fred Davis's Hilarious Legal Troubles [UPDATE]
Well, now. Yesterday, The Washingtonian passed along the glorious details of the shitshow civil suit being brought against Redskins tight end Fred Davis by a woman who's accused of being a "pimpette." Long story short: Davis allegedly poured an entire pitcher of juice on the woman's head, and the wo...

This Video Of An Old Crimson Tide Fan Lip-Synching "Call Me Maybe" Is The Most Discomforting Thing Ever
From tipster William, with whom we will be forever angry with due to what he has exposed us to, comes the above video. The video depicts an elderly gentleman lip-synching to "Call Me Maybe," which is A Thing on YouTube these days, but this version goes beyond "Oh man this song is so stupid and ann...

Aroldis Chapman Can Somersault All He Wants
Last night Cincinnati Reds pitcher Aroldis Chapman recorded his ninth save of the season when he struck out Martin Maldonado with a 99 m.p.h. fastball. Upon finishing his achievement, Chapman decided to celebrate by performing two somersaults towards home plate. He didn't scream or yell or thump hi...

Person Goes Kite Surfing During A Tropical Storm, Gets Swept Right Over A Pier
Before watching this video, I had no idea kite surfing was a thing. It seems to involve standing on a surf board in the ocean while holding on to a giant kite, a hybrid of surfing and paragliding. Sounds like loads of fun, but also like an incredibly dangerous thing to do in the middle of a tropic...

John Rocker Is Now An Unsurprisingly Bad Political Columnist
If you are a fan of John Rocker and third-rate conservative internet rags, today is a big day for you. WND.com, which is essentially an even stupider version of The Daily Caller, has brought the infamous former Atlanta Braves closer onto the site as a political columnist. Based on what happened the...

What Did Internet Trolls Do Before The Internet? They Sent Letters To Wellington Mara That Wound Up In His FBI File
So you think you're a successful troll? Think again, tough guy....

Olympics Field Guide: Race Imboden, The New Face Of American Fencing
Name: Race Imboden...

Congratulations To Bleacher Report On Its $200 Million Acquisition: Slideshow
In honor of Turner's nearly finalized $200 million purchase of Bleacher Report, here's a congratulatory slideshow, featuring a bunch of pictures of burning money. Please click through....

Is Former Giants Second Baseman Jeff Kent Going To Be On <em>Survivor</em>?
If you've been walking around all day thinking that nobody in America cares about Survivor (now in its 24th season!) anymore, and that there couldn't possibly exist a frighteningly thorough fan site dedicated to the show, you'd be dead wrong....

How Colorado Springs (And A Former Cold War Tactical Room) Became The Home Of The United States Olympic Committee
Fast Company published a fascinating article today, which details how the United States Olympic Committee came to make its home in Colorado Springs, Colo., after winning control over amateur Olympic athletes from the NCAA and Amateur Athletic Union. It's worth a read, especially for all you Olympip...

Deadspin I-Team: What's The Story Behind Cole Hamels's Giant Bulge?
Phillies center fielder Shane Victorino puts on an annual fashion show to raise money for his foundation, which seems like a pretty neat thing to do. There are models, glitz, glamour, and a lot of Phillies players dressed up in fancy clothes. What a time!...

Note To Starbucks Baristas Everywhere: If You Find Yourself Serving Coffee To Mitch Albom, Spill It On Him
Mitch Albom, America's favorite fun-sized poetastering fabulist, decided to use his Sunday column space in the shrinking Detroit Free Press to whine about America's service workers in the haughtiest fashion possible....

New Jersey Man Allegedly Calls 911 From His Pillow Fort, Demands To Speak To Tim Tebow
From the Hopatcong Patch comes the strange story of one man and his desire to speak with Tim Tebow. I'll let the lead from the article, which is one of the best leads I've ever read, set the table for you:...