tuffy-old Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
That's Why They Call It Special Teams
Chris Myers gave himself a water bukkake before the Bears-Panthers game. We're pretty sure we never need to see that again. In fact, we're stepping away in a moment to invent a time machine so we can step back in time to smash our television set just before it happened and then tell our self in the ...
OMG LT Is Down (Maybe)! Begin Looting Now!
Your Sunday morning NFL headlines to adjust your line... up of food for: • LaDainian Tomlinson's owie toe may keep him off the field (or, you know, not) for the Chargers' attempt to topple Denver down to sea level. Regardless, we require six in-depth profiles of his backups by Monday morning. After ...
To Watch Tonight: Now That You're Gone (to Watch Television)
What to watch while questioning the relevance of the 1980s yet again... • College Football: Ohio State at USC (8 pm ET) [ABC] - We received a link today asking why the Buckeyes were hated so much because the line shows them to be rather large underdogs, suggesting various conspiracy theories. Here's...
Mom Allegedly Steals Daughter's Identity, Becomes 15-Year-Old Cheerleader
First, a note: GARRETT GUZMAN, YOU STAY RIGHT OUT OF THIS POST, MISTER. With that out of the way, let's discuss Miss Wendy Brown of Green Bay, WI. Her 15-year-old daughter lives with Wendy's own mother in Nevada for reasons that will readily become apparent. In an attempt to reclaim her own lost you...
Nationals Minor-Leaguer Allegedly Corrupts Youth in the Back of His Car
This charming young fellow is 25-year-old Garrett Guzman. He enjoys long fly balls out of the park, walking to first base, piña coladas, and a per diem over $25. (Or so we assume. He is, after all, a minor-leaguer in the Washington Nationals system, playing in Harrisburg, PA.) We have also received ...
Murderball's Back, Baby! (Watch Your Toes)
One U.S. team in Beijing came into these Games with all the pressure in the world on them to succeed after an embarrassing bronze medal in a sport the United States normally dominates. Yes, they laid the wood to the Chinese team in their first match, but they have a long way to go towards the mythic...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: Let the River Run, Indeed
• 12:00 — College Football: Navy vs. Duke [ESPNU] - Get to know the young men that you will silently curse when they blow by you for promotions in six years. • 2:30 — Movie: Working Girl [A&E] - Joan Cusack only lost this Oscar because she had to compete in the Best Supporting Actress category with ...
Morning Blogdome: The Best Slapfights Since Baseball Was Invented in England
• Kickboxing that has neither: Leotard makers do not approve of this off-label use of their product. [Epic Carnival] • And he didn't sign his scorecard, either: Charred remains left on a golf course. You may play through. [SPORTSbyBROOKS] • But the cake falls off the table near the end of the part...
MLB Closer: Okay, Lord... Me and You, Right?
Six games didn't get off the ground without the assistance of rising tides today, thanks to enough moisture across these United States to make you think Tammy Faye Bakker herself had been disinterred by her own post-mortem weeping. Division races from the AL Central to the NL Central (oh, and the ...
Keep smilin'; keep tippin' Knowin' you can always message "the hugh johnson" on AOL Instant Messenger, for sure That's what The Hugh Johnson Project is for For good times and Pam Ward Hugh will be on your side forever more That's what The Hugh Johnson Project is for - The Hugh Johnson Project, featu...
On duty this weekend, here to fill your brains with only what you want to hear: Tuffy and Enrico. We have Gmail accounts. Ours is "tuffyr" and Enrico's is "the700level". You should email your tips to both of us because, as always, one of your parents will always love you more than the other. (Oh, an...
We Find Ourselves Rather Disliking Ike
Galveston, Houston and much of the Gulf Coast stay in lockdown mode this morning, waiting still to assess the human and structural damage as Hurricane Ike, freak storm that it appears to be, drags a huge storm surge over the Texas coast. However, we do have a preliminary assessment of the effect on...
Take Us Home, Oh Mudda Fadda; Take Us Home from Beijing
So, yeah. This is it. Tonight's the last night of co-ed Rings summer camp and tomorrow our parents will be here to pick us up and take us home and we'll spend all our time with our old steady sports and we'll promise to write about swimming and gymnastics and equestrian events but we never will, so ...
So About Those Judged Olympic Sports We All Love...
Rudel Obreja, a Romanian technical official for the international amateur boxing body (AIBA), was suspended Friday for holding an "unauthorized" press conference Friday. This is AIBA/IOC terminology for "talking too much", especially considering the topic Obreja chose: "That One Time a Couple High-R...
To Watch Tonight: Last Excuse to Sleep on the Couch
What to watch while enjoying the first shout-out to Usain Bolt in the music of the kids today (now with audio) ... • Olympics: Volleyball, Closing Ceremonies. If you miss it, just buy the DVD next week. [NBC] • MLB Baseball: Dodgers at Phillies. We're not saying Jamie Moyer and Greg Maddux are old,...
Animal Planet's "Animal Witness" program dissects Michael Vick and tracks the pit bulls since given their freedom. We can't recommend watching this since U.S. citizens are not allowed to watch any program not created by NBC and/or Bud Greenspan during the Olympics, but our foreign readers may find i...
A Treed Blogger is a Dangerous Blogger (At Least Until the Batteries Run Out)
After we've finished a long day of blogging, we like to pour ourselves a tall Arnold Palmer (with enough whiskey to drown a horse) into a Thermos, pack the latest Uncle John's Bathroom Reader into a knapsack, and scurry up a tree for a relaxing afternoon. There, we find a perfect disconnect from the...