williamfleitch Page 42 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Worry Is Like Interest Paid In Advance On A Debt That Never Comes Due
Nobody looks at a Japanese tourist....
Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?
We remember when a friend of ours, in high school, gave us advice, handed down to him by his grandfather, on how to buy condoms. "The trick," he said, "is not to try to slip them in with other purchases, or anything like that. Sorry, man: You just have to steal them." We didn't take that tactic, but...
The Yawns Of Mussina And Glavine
• Honestly, who in the world would care about John Feinstein's new book? [The Sports Hernia] • Cubs-Cards crossovers other than Jim Edmonds. [Joe Sports Fan] • We can't imagine it's fun to be a new blonde sportscaster in Boston media. [Red Sox Monster] • Lil Penny, still out there. [You Been Blinded...
Talking To Manny's High Five Friend
Whatever your thoughts about Manny Ramirez and the Boston Red Sox, you had to love Manny's wild, patented "great catch, followed by high five, followed by doubling off a runner from first base" play from Wednesday. It was a signature Manny moment; insane, absurd, joyous. But what about the fan he hi...
Media Approval Ratings: Woody Paige
We used to have a lot more fun with Woody Paige than we do now because, back when we first started this site, we felt compelled to write about "Cold Pizza" every day, because it was so ridiculous and because we were home all day and the only people watching. (We are certain we were the only people o...
Sean Avery's Internship At Vogue Begins
When we first heard that Rangers left wing Sean Avery was going to intern for Vogue magazine this summer, once the Rangers were finally eliminated from the playoffs, we assumed it was a joke, or some stunt meant to get Avery a seat next to that weird lady with the crazy glasses at Roger Federer matc...
Jason Giambi And The Yankees Sing The Thong Song
Remember how in Bull Durham, when Nuke LaLoosh wears a garter belt to help relax him on the mound? Well, apparently, Jason Giambi has a similar slumpbusting technique ... though it's perhaps one he shouldn't share with the world....
I Am Jack's NHL Closer
The NHL Closer is written by the five Project Mayhem operatives at Melt Your Face-Off. Should Malkin start aiming his wristers at our eye sockets, and one of us doesn't make it out alive, you will henceforth know him as Robert Paulsen. Today, Hextall454 puts down the soap to give you the Keystone re...
Lance Briggs Is The New Shawn Kemp
You say you like the Athletes Making Babies site? Well, then you're gonna love the tale of the smooth operator that is Bears linebacker Lance Briggs....
The 1986 Cardinals Are In The World Series!
Excuse us one more time for the self-indulgence, but we are gleeful to report that our 1986 St. Louis Cardinals Strat-O-Matic team has reached the World Series. We're a little ashamed by how much joy this has brought us, but there it is....
The West Coast Bias And The Drinking Wall
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. You can email him here....
Man: The Edmonds Thing Is Really Happening
Augh ... man, the Cubs really did sign Jim Edmonds. Other than Pujols or Willie McGee signing with those guys, we can't imagine our brains hurting more than they do to see this. And we're sure Cubs fans don't feel any better about it. Proceed with extreme caution, Jim; Cards fans can no longer prot...
Yes, He Can
• Barack Obama's brother-in-law talks about his new job at Oregon State. [Blazers Edge] • Rioting because of television problems. [Machochip] • So, we guess Big Brown's definitely gonna win, right? [Rumors And Rants] • How to heckle the Twins. [Heckler's Prospectus] • Why can't O.J. Mayo hire an age...
Media Approval Ratings: John Clayton
In our book, we said this about John Clayton: "Often resembles the guy in RoboCop after he falls in the toxic waste just before he's squished by the oncoming car." Someone classified this as "mean." We prefer, as always, "cheeky."...
Forget Everything You Think You Know About Kyle Farnsworth
No word from The Dugout on this just yet, but it's only a matter of time. Yes, if you thought you knew Kyle Farnsworth — Grand Theft Farnsworth! — YOU HAVE NO IDEA....