Welcome to Bad Quarterback Performance Of The Week, a recurring feature in which we celebrate the worst quarterback play the NFL has to offer.
Less than a year ago, Jay Cutler was a happy, bare-assed retiree headed toward a cushy broadcasting gig. He gave all that up, for some reason, perhaps 10 million of them, so that he could come back and play quarterback for the Miami Dolphins. Five weeks into the season, it’s clear that he is about as enthused by this arrangement as Dolphins fans are.
Miami won on Sunday, beating a shitty Titans team 16-10. Cutler finished the game with one touchdown, one interception, and just 92 yards on 12 limp-dick completions. I honestly don’t have any truly embarrassing GIFs to show you, because it felt like the whole game unfolded with Cutler barely participating. The Dolphins presented the home crowd with a thrilling collection of three-and-outs, and it felt like Cutler wasn’t so much responsible for the failure as he was just kinda ... there. Here’s a representative moment:
And here’s another:
Remember when Jay Cutler was the abrasive, swaggering quarterback who gave fuck all about checking down? Remember when he used to whip the ball into double coverage and get away with it, because he was one of the few guys who had the kind of arm strength necessary to play reckless and make it work? Remember when he used to scramble around, get his head up, and throw the kind of ball off his back foot that most quarterbacks could barely manage in a clean pocket? Here’s what happens now when 34-year-old Jay Cutler tries to be his old young self:
That pass came on the first play of the drive, and it followed a five-play, 12-yard drive that ended with Cutler meekly tossing the ball into the ground while evading pressure. It was after that play that one of the most impressive waves of boos I’ve ever heard rippled throughout the stadium. It really needs to be heard:
Listen ... do you hear that? It’s the Miami fans chanting, “We want Moore! We want Moore! We want Moore!” As in backup quarterback Matt Moore! As in the guy who has been planted on the Dolphins’ bench for four season now and is one of the least-inspiring quarterbacks in the NFL. Jay Cutler used to be one of the better, and definitely most entertaining, quarterbacks in the entire league. Now he’s so bad that his own fans are begging for him to give way to the most generic of backups. Jay probably should have stayed on vacation.