We conclude our Barbaro coverage for 2006 with this message from Dr. Dean Richardson, chief surgeon of the University of Pennsylvania's New Bolton Center:
"So Barbaro's recovery is a 'Christmas Miracle,' huh? Well you Barbaro letter writers can take your sequined snowman sweaters, your miniature dachsunds and your houseful of cats all go screw yourselves. Where was God when I was working 18-hour shifts tending to a goddamned horse? I didn't see Jesus hoisting Barbaro's fat ass in that sling. Eight years of college to spend my days with cats and chickens, and you say that Barbaro's recovery is due to God? I could be working for Goldman Sachs, you ingrates. And by the way, what's with all the freaking apples? I like cigars. (Hastily scrawled picture of man giving the finger)."
OK, that was a first draft. Richardson's actual quote to the press on Wedenesday:
"It's not a miracle. It's anything but that," he said, sitting next to a Christmas tree topped with a stuffed Barbaro. "Some of the Barbaro fans aren't going to like that, perhaps. I'm a scientist, I'm a doctor. I'm not a faith healer or a religious person. I believe in the application in science and I think nothing that's happened to him is particularly miraculous."
We see his point, and if it were us, we'd be kind of pissed. It's like saying "Richardson is the vet? Come on everyone, we'd better start praying!"
By the way, a pretty awesome Barbaro Photoshop is currently on display over at Barbaro's MySpace page. — RC