MLB Page 1170 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: It's A Fine Line Between Failure And Non-Failure
What did Bartolo Colon teach us about our place in the universe last night? Special philosophical correspondent David Roher was at the ballpark to witness the veteran Yankee's performance against Oakland, as Colon fell behind the A's 5-0—with two of the runs scoring after he'd left the game, on a do...
Exit Felix Pie; Luke Scott Will Have To Find A New Dark-Skinned Teammate To Throw Banana Chips At
Baseball's most discomfiting buddy comedy is near cancellation: Yesterday, the Baltimore Orioles designated outfielder Felix Pie for assignment, effectively ending his role as the some-of-my-best-friends-are-black clubhouse foil for redneck performance artist Luke Scott. ...
It's Bruce Chen's World, And We're All Just Renting Space
How's this for an unlikely sentence fragment? "Chen won four consecutive starts for the first time in his career..."...
Relief: Oddibe McDowell Has Paid His Overdue Water Bill, And This Month's Water Bill Is Only $59.39
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services. Earlier coverage of Oddibe McDowell's water bill:...
Angel Pagan Was Busy Taking A Shit When He Was Due Up To Bat
"Apparently Pagan 'felt a rumble at the end of the fourth' and ended up spending a significant portion of the fifth shitting, while his coach screamed his name from the dugout in vain." [NYDN, via Gawker]...
Kool Aid Man Really Wanted To Catch That Foul Ball
Your morning roundup for Aug. 23, the day they found a lot of semen in a fancy hotel room. H/T to bigsombrero for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
The Twins' Ben Revere Is Half Willie Mays, Half Spiderman
Oh, boy. This is from tonight's Twins-Orioles game. We have ourselves the consensus catch of the year, unless Jim Edmonds decides to unretire and flop all over the place before the end of next month. Jeez. Wow. We're still all tingly inside....
Jimmy Rollins Is Going On The DL, According To Jimmy Rollins
Guess the Phillies' PR staff can pretty much take the afternoon off....
Bobby Valentine Has It In For Starlin Castro
Starlin Castro, the young, hopeful face of the Cubs franchise this season, pissed off Bobby Valentine in a game against the Cardinals last night, and nothing good came out of it—unless you have a general appreciation for seven-minute rants on five-second occurrences in the middle of your baseball ...
Idea For New Reality Show Featuring Barry Bonds Is 10 Years Too Late
So it turns out Barry Bonds is actually "close friends" with A.C. Slater, who got him to agree to do a reality show in which we get to see baseball's all-time asterisk king confronted by an angry fan who despises him, after which Bonds will have to try to convince the poor jagoff he's not such a pr...
Rafael Furcal Is Super-Uncoordinated
Via Buster Olney: "Rafael Furcal sprained his thumb when bracing a fall, after tripping over a rope near the batting cage here in Wrigley." If he's this clumsy while sober, we'd hate to see him drunk....
Watch This Braves Fan's Leaping, One-Handed Foul Ball Catch
Poignant, indeed, that the catch reminds the announcers of a receiver—because it's getting to be the end of August, when Atlanta forgets that baseball exists....
Cubs Fire GM Jim Hendry, Retroactively Win 2003 NLCS
Well, OK, not quite. But the man who brought Chicago eight years of creaky-kneed Alfonso Soriano and five years of creaky-headed Carlos Zambrano is gone, replaced by late-80s, early-90s Twins outfielder Randy Bush. That will work out well. [via @MLB]...
The Blue Jays' Sign-Stealing Operation Is A Lot Less Sophisticated On The Road
Your morning roundup for Aug. 19, the day we went fishing and caught a scuba diver instead. H/T to Jamo for the photo, which he got from a friend at the Jays-A's game who texted him to say: "Guy looks into binoculars for five seconds then holds up sign that says either 'OFF SPEED' or 'FAST BALL.' S...
Tonight, One Baseball Player Ran His Fingers Through An Opposing Player's Hair
Tipster Michael M. shared this picture he took off of his television after the Reds/Nationals game commenced following a 38-minute delay. It's titled, "Brandon Phillips likes Michael Morse's pretty hair." Anyway, Phillips went 3-for-4 with an RBI while Morse was 0-for-3 with a run in the Nationals'...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Judgment Without Pity
Bartolo Colon, Yankee pitcher and existential protagonist, found himself beset by 14 men last night. Nine of his antagonists were Kansas City Royals hitters-including Billy Butler, who launched a fly ball to somewhere around the top of the outfield fence in the third inning. Four more of his opponen...
Pitcher, Batter Reconcile HBP Over Twitter: "Just Grazed The Schnaz A Little Bit"
This is a beautiful story of modern reconciliation. Last night, Toronto's Brandon Morrow hit Mariner Casper Wells with a pitch. The outfielder was forced to sit out the remainder of the game, which deprived him of the chance to extend his home run streak to five straight games....
This Evening: A Monkey Jumps Out Of The Stands To Thwart Teddy Roosevelt
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 17, the day we received crucial life lessons from Conan the Barbarian. Video via DC Sports Bog. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Who Owns "Evil Empire"? The Yankees Launch A Proxy War For Control
Bridgehampton, N.Y., out on the East End of Long Island, is Red Sox territory. The bars along Main Street are decked out in red and will only show Yankees games if there's nothing else on. TVs receive the Hartford network affiliates. Carl Yastrzemski was born on a nearby potato farm and still holds ...