MLB Page 1236 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jim Bowden’s (Extremely Brief) Return To Respectability
Jim Bowden, the disgraced ex-Nationals GM, stands accused of stealing ballplayers' bonus money. The team he built is on pace to lose 118 games. Naturally, ESPN wanted to hire him....
Yorvit Torrealba's Son Rescued From Kidnappers
The Colorado catcher's 11-year-old son and two of the boy's uncles were kidnapped in Venezuela, but escaped before any ransom was paid. The incident was kept quiet by police and MLB until it was resolved. (Safely, thank goodness.) [Denver Post]...
The Problem With Wang
All right that's enough, people. Chien-Ming Wang (pronounced "wong," by the way) has been in the major leagues five seasons now and it has been well established that his surname is an English euphemism for "penis." Ha ha, very funny....
Tony La Russa Is Not Laughing At Your Satire
Dugout genius Tony La Russa is suing Twitter, claiming he "suffered significant emotional distress" and "damage to his reputation" because of a fake La Russa account. Sheesh, can't the man take a few jokes about dead pitchers and drunk driving?...
Tiger Stadium To Be Demolished, And 80 People Care
It's already surrounded by empty vodka bottles, tattered blankets and, uh, hubcaps, and that was before an economic development board voted on Tuesday to tear down Tiger Stadium's last remnants....
Is This The End Of Tom Glavine?
Tommy Glavine was all set to make his major league debut this season, after fully rehabbing from offseason surgery and throwing 11 straight shutout innings in the minors—right before the Braves said, "Thanks, but no thanks."...
Mets Get Swine Flu Scare, Creating Conditions For Tabloid Perfect Storm
A producer for the Mets television network may have swine flu, and Carlos Beltran and John Maine both have unspecified stomach ailments. Rest assured this story will be handled with measured calm and forbearance by the New York media. Wait, what's that? "Pig Panic"? Never mind. [New York Post]...
Vicente Padilla Is Good At Making People, Androids Angry
Mark Teixeira after his double-plunk from Padilla: "Unfortunately, that guy has been doing it his whole career. Every time I've faced him since there seems to be balls near my head, near my body, and today I got hit twice. There's really no reason for it." [DMN]...
Brady Anderson Defends Angelos From Cruelties Of SI Article
"Meddling" Orioles owner Peter Angelos was named "The Worst Owner In Baseball" by SI. This has chafed former 50-home run fluke Brady Anderson, who penned a column for the Baltimore Sun to defend him. Some reasons why Angelos is great: he's compassionate, caring, a son of Greek immigrants. [Steady Bu...
David Ortiz Is Still Worth More Than General Motors
David Ortiz's putrid 2009 numbers — .185, 1 HR, 18 RBI, 48 strikeouts — don't qualify for a government bailout, as his statistics translate to an approximate worth on the free agent market of negative $5.2 million. At least he's more valuable than Delmon Young. [Fangraphs, via Simon on Sports]...
It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Gatorade
The fancy schmancy Gatorade dispenser that has adorned the home dugout at Wrigley Field this summer is being removed and replaced with a boring old water cooler. Why? Because people can't be trusted to have nice things....
What Is Wrong With Our Fragile Baseball Players?
Khalil Greene has been placed on the disabled list with an unspecified "social anxiety disorder" making him at least the third major leaguer to miss significant time with a similar complaint. That, my friends, is a TREND ALERT! So what the heck is going on here?...
Francesa Takes Another Look At The Joba Rules
Confession: I'm a Yankees fan, which gives me, like any other Yankees fan, the right to opine about the best interest of Joba Chamberlain's arm. Mike Francesa's also a Yankees fan, and he hosts a radio show, which, apparently, makes him doubly passionate about the precocious righty....
The End Of The Rocky Road For Clint Hurdle
Sources say! Clint Hurdle will be fired after seven years (really?) as Colorado's manager and just a little over one season removed from the team's World Series appearance. Does anyone have a John Denver CD I can borrow? [Denver Post]...
Excuse Me, Ma'am, The Yankees Do Not Suck
With the Yankees in town, a Texas woman proudly sported her anniversary present: a "Yankees Suck" T-shirt. That's against the law in Rangersland. It's considered profane. So she had to turn her shirt inside-out. But in her defense, the Rangers did let A-Rod in the stadium. [Dallas Morning News, NBC]...
Why Rick Porcello Matters
Rick Porcello won his fifth straight start yesterday, which ensured the 20-year-old a long season of being inaptly compared to Doc Gooden. He'll probably finish the year reminding everyone of Zach Duke instead, but there's a reason to hope he doesn't, and it has to do with the amateur draft....
Voting For Manny Probably Won't Matter
Who said social activism was dead? We're living in the Age of Obama, which means everyone is all jazzed about public service, and there's no better way to voice your displeasure with the bureaucracy of Major League Baseball than to... vote Manny Ramirez into the All-Star game!...
Accused Killer Indicted In Adenhart Case
"A grand jury has indicted the man accused of killing Los Angeles Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart and two others when a minivan smashed into their car last month. Orange County prosecutors say Andrew Gallo was indicted on three counts of murder and three other felonies for the April crash." [AP]...
No Gatorade Machine Is Safe From Zambrano's Wrath
Carlos Zambrano did not make it through his start against the Pirates today and neither did the Gatorade dispenser in the Cubs dugout. Carlos gets ejected, but it's always the electrolytes that have to pay the price....
Savior Of Baltimore, Fantasy Teams Everywhere To Debut Friday
Matt Wieters, who is evidently a real player and not just some sad phantom haunting Yahoo fantasy rosters, will make his major league debut for Baltimore on Friday against the Tigers. "It's time," said Orioles president of baseball operations Andy MacPhail. Adjust your rosters accordingly. [Baltimor...