MLB Page 971 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Check Out All These St. Louis Cardinals Striking Out Like Jamokes
The Major League Baseball campaign is underway and it started off gloriously. Not only did the St. Louis Cardinals lose to the Pittsburgh Pirates 4-1, but they struck out 14 times, like a bunch of jamokes. Here is a video highlighting Pirates starter Francisco Liriano’s impressive performance—he str...
Baseball Is Back And Thank Fucking God
At last, the death-gods have released their cold, icy grip on the United States; the trees are green, the birds are singing, and our greatest sport has returned. While there’s just too much to keep track of in terms of who’s where and what’s what and who’s going to do what and such—FiveThirtyEight, ...
Pablo Sandoval Loses Starting Job To Some Guy
This is not to denigrate newly crowned Red Sox opening day third baseman Travis Shaw, because Travis Shaw has had a killer spring, and no one’s really quite sure what to make of him. But teams usually need more than a hint of promise to bench a guy owed $72.4 million over the next four years. Not th...
Report: Domestic Abuse Charge Against Jose Reyes Will Be Dropped
The Associated Press is reporting that Maui prosecutors will dismiss a domestic abuse charge against Rockies shortstop Jose Reyes. Deputy Prosecuting Attorney Kerry Glen told the AP that the reason is Reyes’ wife isn’t cooperating....
Report: Royals Still Beefin' Over Noah Syndergaard's World Series Brushback Pitch
The thing to remember is that all baseball players are large babies....
Matt Harvey's Wee-Wee Hurts Because He Didn't Do Enough Tinkles
Yesterday afternoon brought down a Category 4 Mets Panic when word got out that Matt Harvey was in danger of missing his Opening Day start due to some mystery ailment. The panic got even worse when manager Terry Collins and GM Sandy Alderson steadfastly refused to say just what the hell was wrong wi...
Hoo Boy, Something's Up With Matt Harvey
Mets pitcher Matt Harvey has been scratched from his scheduled start tomorrow, and is a very big question mark to be ready to go for opening day? Why? It’s a big ol’ mystery, but, uh, prepare to panic, probably....
Joey Votto's Doing A Thing Now
Baseball players are creatures of routine. During yesterday’s game, Joey Votto unveiled a new one: leaning on his bat between pitches....
Cubs Spring Training Game Overrun By Bees
Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. I say it will end when our bee overlords choose to end it. That might already be underway at Sloan Park during this afternoon’s Cubs-Mariners game. Jason Heyward was the first victim, and he had to climb the outfield fence to avoid them....
Cuban Fan Throws Beers Into Tampa Bay Rays Dugout In Protest Of Their Cuba Trip
The Tampa Bay Rays got back from their historic trip to Cuba on Wednesday morning, and after a bit of a travel delay, returned to baseball as usual that evening. Last night, during the seventh inning of their game against the Pirates, an older fan reportedly ran onto the field in Bradenton, cursed a...
Brewers Pitcher Will Smith Tore His Knee While Trying To Take Off His Shoes
Spring training is the worst time for a ballplayer to get injured, but for some reason, every spring training injury happens to be a very dumb injury. Last year, we had Michael Saunders stepping on a sprinkler head and tearing his meniscus, Scooter Gennett cutting his finger on a stray shampoo bottl...
There Are Actual Cubs At Cubs Camp
Joe Maddon likes to make spring training fun. On Tuesday it was mimes. Today it’s baby bears....
Madison Bumgarner And Jason Heyward's Beef Wasn't Really A Beef At All
Madison Bumgarner’s on-mound demeanor could be described using many different words; I’ll go with “cantankerous,” but depending upon your perspective anything from “fired-up” to “dickish” can be appropriate. So when Jason Heyward stood around seemingly staring at Bumgarner after taking a called thir...
Yoenis Cespedes Decides Ball That's <i>Right There</i> Is Unplayable, Allows Inside-The-Park Home Run
A truly amazing spring training lowlight from Mets-Astros this afternoon, as an A.J. Reed ball hit past Yoenis Cespedes stuck at the base of the wall. It didn’t wedge under anything; it wasn’t trapped, or unreachable; it wasn’t obstructed in any way that would have warranted the umpire calling dead ...
15 Years Ago Today, Randy Johnson Exploded A Bird
Just in terms of sheer unlikeliness, Randy Johnson vaporizing a dove with a pitch is one of the most improbable things to have ever happened on a baseball diamond. That fact that it was Johnson, an ornery flamethrower if there ever was one, makes it feel almost inevitable in retrospect. The birds sh...
A-Rod To Retire Once The Yankees Have Paid Him Every Cent They Owe Him, And Not A Moment Before
After an MLB witch-hunt designed to force him out of the game in shame, the Yankees’ repeated attempts to void his contract and his milestone bonus money, and a comeback season that earned him redemption—if only as a foil to more actively sinister forces—Alex Rodriguez said today that he will retire...
Carlos Beltran Has A Heartbreaking Story About Not Being Able To Order Food When He Broke Into Baseball
For the first time this season, MLB is mandating that all clubs have full-time Spanish translators. Previously, teams had hired translators on an ad hoc basis, or informally used bilingual coaches and teammates to help young Latin players navigate interviews and interactions....