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As a followup to yesterday's Tony Parker-Eva Longoria dustup with the San Antonio police department, the great Smoking Gun โ€” whose annual holiday gift just arrived in our mailbox โ€” has dug up the official police report from the incident. It doesn't have too much extra information from the original story, but we do like this part, from the citing officer:

I then walked up to the vehicle and buffeted the hood with my open palm as taught to me in my training at SAPD Bicycle school.

Honestly, if there's any justice out of this whole thing, it will be Parker being sentenced to community service at the San Antonio Police Department Bicycle School. Just a bunch of cops swirling him in bicycles, honking little horns, beep beep. Maybe they'll put his basketball card in their spokes. That makes them sound like a motor.

Evan Longoria Police Report [The Smoking Gun]
The Spurs Hate Mexicans (Or Something Like That) [Deadspin]