How do you recover when an entire nation of adoring fans suddenly learns that your entire career is a lie? You open a pointless press conference full of pre-approved journalists with the National Anthem—no backing track, no judgmental president, no preservatives. BeyoncĂ© is prepared to steal the Super Bowl ("I will absolutely be singing live. This is what I was born to do.") and is also just as calculatedly insane as ever.

Questions from the assembled teen girls included, "how do you get your hair so perfect," "I love your music," and "what color toothbrush do you own?*" When it was all over, the announcer said, "Beyoncé will now pose." Beyoncé posed.

*An actual question.