Blazers Owner Composes Rage Comic Equating Local Columnist With Big-Eared Octopus

Portland Trail Blazers owner Paul Allen is the 48th richest person in the world, with a net worth of $14.2 billion. Evidently, all that dough (and being the cofounder of Microsoft) doesn't get you a thick skin when local columnists target your team's less-than-stellar season (or an advanced grasp of HTML coding).

Allen, upset with Oregonian columnist John Canzano's request that Allen either do what it takes to turn Portland into a winning team or "dump this franchise," composed an articulate, well-reasoned rebuttal that features what's known as a Dumbo octopus, so named for its two floppy ears, that Allen himself recently encountered in the waters of Ironbottom Sound. Allen himself just tweeted the four photos earlier today, so maybe he was feeling inspired with his photography and wanted to give it another application.

Either way, the end result is this awesomely amateurish rage comic entitled "The Four Stages of reading a John Canzano column about the Portland Trail Blazers." (Here's the full-size version.)

And then, because it wasn't enough to show off his work of art to his 41,000 followers, the official Blazers account retweeted it to its 76,000 followers.

Somewhere, Donald Sterling is still the worst owner in professional sports, but maybe he's feeling a little extra inspired tonight.