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When I blogged Alex Smith’s lowlight reel this morning, I was quick to note that, for all the inside-the-Ark-of-the-Covenant face-melting power of his bad throws, Smith’s performance was not, statistically, the worst of the week. Blake Bortles’s, on the other hand, was.

Bortles had the lowest passer rating of any quarterback in Week 5, and also paced the league in the all-important “should we set this to the Benny Hill theme?” metric. You should, and For The Win’s Steven Ruiz did.


Every throw is a nightmare, but the one at 15 seconds, where the ball is so far off-target the d-back falls down, is a work of art. Or, at least, body horror.


When Bortles plays competently, or even well, the Jaguars are as good at football as any team in the NFL. When he Bortleses, like he Bortled to the tune of four interceptions on Sunday, the Jaguars are as good at slapstick as any of the titans of the golden era of British comedy. As Ruiz notes, Bortles is locked in through at least 2019, which probably coincides with the Jags’ window afforded by their elite defense. That may have seemed wise when Jacksonville extended him following their AFC title game appearance, but looks a little less wise five weeks into the season, as Bortles has a pedestrian passer rating and an 8:7 TD:INT ratio.

Anyway, the video rules. Show it to someone you love.