Bowling's Watergate Has Nation On Edge

We've become accustomed to cheating in baseball and soccer; but when the purity of bowling is questioned, is there any hope for mankind? Dear God, it must be a mistake. Not bowling! Our story so far: Robert Mushtare, 17, of Carthage, N.Y., recently rolled two perfect 900 series and 12 perfect games in a single league season, helping him qualify for the Junior Olympic Gold tournament, which is the junior team USA qualifier tourney. The problem is, hardly anyone believes he really did it.

The United States Bowling Congress sanctioned the scores, even though Mushtare rolled the games at night, in front of no official witnesses. Only family and close friends at Pine Plains Bowling Center in Fort Drum, N.Y., "saw" the magical feat. We understand that rolling 12 perfect games is like throwing 12 straight no-hitters. Except, you know, dull. Anyway, since this is rural New York state. and this is bowling, everyone is steaming mad.

Luckily, Mushtare had a way to prove himself. Since he qualified for the Junior Gold Tournament, everyone would be able to see his greatness. He would be able to tell the doubters to shove it. And just how is Mushtare doing in the Juniors ? He is currently in 281st place, Doh!

By the way, are we all agreed that it is probably not wise to piss off columnist Bill Herald when it comes to bowling?

Few Will Believe Mushtare's Record [Herald Tribune.com]