Breaking News: Red Sox Fan Is Terrible Human

A college newspaper columnist wrote the douchiest column in the history of douchey college newspaper columns. What's the sports angle? Check the author's headshot. There's your sports angle.

When this little gem of a column starts off with an Entourage quote in the first graf, you know we're in for something special. Breaking down the "Walk of Shame," Chris Surette handed in one of the most repugnant works of "journalism" we've seen in a while. Not repugnant because it's immoral, but because it's simply not funny.

But girls, even though many may consider you a slut after witnessing your glorious Walk of Shame, just realize that you have given this lucky guy a story he can share with others at the Grape for the rest of the year. We ought to thank you for that. And hopefully you got something out of this to … actually, we don't really care.

[snip]

Let's be real, we are too young to have a little mini-me running around. I would rather enjoy my college years drinking my face off and having to clean my own vomit, than cleaning the vomit of 16 month infant. Also, if you can't remember her name, there is a very good chance you don't know much about the broad. Trust me, you don't want that hood rat giving you a venereal disease. Not because half are not curable, but the next time you try to bang and that little cutie sees that rash around your genitals, she's going to be running for the fences.

Fairfield is a Jesuit institution, which means some in the administration aren't too happy with the subject matter. Indeed the entire newspaper faces harassment charges, and could lose their funding.

Now I'm not going to say that one student is solely responsible for the death of journalism, and I'm not going to say it's wholly because of his Red Sox fandom...I'm just going to imply it.

He Said: The Walk Of Shame [Fairfield Mirror] Fairfield U. Newspaper Faces Discipline Over Column's 'Harassment' [Connecticut Post]