Photo: Patrick Smith (Getty)

The Capitals wasted absolutely no time in getting their Stanley Cup-defending season off on the right foot following a long and Barry Trotz-less banner-hanging ceremony. Just 24 seconds or so into the game—before NBCSN had even had a chance to put the scoreboard chyron on the screen—TJ Oshie ripped a one-timer into the back of the net.

That was just the start of the carnage to come. 83 seconds later and less than three seconds into the first power play of the game, Evgeny Kuznetsov pounced on a deflected puck to give the Capitals a 2–0 lead.

The Capitals are now up 7–0 late in the third period, having added goals from Nic Dowd, John Carlson, Lars Eller, and Alexander Ovechkin, plus another from Kuznetsov. It’s a bloodbath. The first two goals, scored in the first minute and 47 seconds of the first period, set a relatively silly new mark in NHL history:

Advertisement

I am told that the Bruins are supposed to be good this season. Tonight’s result shouldn’t illuminate much of anything in that respect. I’m sure sitting around the locker room during a long-ass pregame ceremony stiffens the joints, and the Caps were riding a wave of good feelings and adrenaline, in front of a raucous and energetic home crowd. On the other hand, Boston, eat shit. Eat it!