Chop Up These Pablo Sandoval Takes And Snort Them

Pablo Sandoval’s Instagram scandal has surfaced, punishment has been dealt—though MLB may also fine him—and now, the takes are here. How can Sandoval using Instagram while taking a dump be tied into bigger issues with the last-place Red Sox? Can the “chicken and beer” brouhaha be referenced?

Ken Rosenthal considers how to get rid of Sandoval and Hanley Ramirez, two players who have spent about four months with the team:

It’s 2011 all over again, only the Red Sox’s Stupid Clubhouse Tricks consist of Instagram “likes,” not fried chicken and beer. Tap, tap, tap. Drip, drip, drip. The only proper solution for the Sox is to re-enact the Great Cleanse of ‘12, and fumigate the clubhouse again.

Hanley Ramirez, gone. Pablo Sandoval, gone. Anybody else who is spooked by Boston, wave your cellphones in the air and act like you just don’t care; general manager Ben Cherington can find a taker for you, too.

Sean McAdam of CSNNE says this team has no character, unlike the eventual World Series champions who played after the city got bombed:

Less than 20 months ago, the 2013 champion Red Sox were the darlings of the city, not just for their improbable ride to the World Series, but also the way they came to represent a city and a region rebounding from the horrors of the Boston Marathon bombings.

The Sox and the city were one, bound by tragedy, recovering in unison, celebrating in tandem.

Now? Now, the team is being compared to the 2011-2012 edition, teams marked by selfishness and division. The 2011 edition not only fumbled away a playoff spot in the final month, but did so in almost indifferent fashion - as the “chicken and beer” episode demonstrated all too well.

WEEI’s John Tomase goes with a replacement-level lede about the situation:

In the grand scheme, hitting the “like” button on a couple of Instagram photos in the middle innings isn’t a capital offense. It does, however, violate not only the official rules of baseball, but the code of the clubhouse.

Keep your head in the game and your butt in the dugout. It’s not much to ask. Swilling beer and inhaling fried chicken was never about food and drink. It was about the starters giving their teammates a giant middle finger, as if to say, “When we’re not pitching, we don’t need you.”

Scott Lauber of the Boston Herald, finally, comes in as a fart asking Pablo Sandoval, “Why are you grimacing at my smell?”

Sandoval doesn’t earn many points here for copping to his “mistake” rather than trying to cover it up after being outed late Wednesday night by a Barstool Sports blogger who noticed what appeared to be in-game social media activity. Sandoval explained that he returned to the clubhouse to use the bathroom and “didn’t have nothing to do, so I just grabbed my phone.”

“I didn’t send a message. I hit a ‘like,’ ” he said, as though there’s any significance in the difference. “I punched the button at the wrong time, so I’ll learn from that.”

Sandoval could stand to learn so much more, including the fact that Red Sox players are subject to greater scrutiny than their counterparts in less intense markets.

Yes. That’s good stuff. Rub a bit of it on the gums. The pure shit’s still getting cooked, though. Dan Shaughnessy hasn’t weighed in yet.

Photo: AP

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