Chris Cooley's Gonna Have A Hot Wife

And now, boys and girls, it's time for a love story. It may resemble one you yourself have encountered, except this one involves people prettier than you. It's a story we've all heard: boy meets girl, girl is a cheerleader, boy meets another cheerleader, girls lose jobs because of boy, boy wins back girl ... um, somehow.

The boy is Washington Redskins tight end Chris Cooley. The cheerleader — one of them, the important one — is former Redskins cheerleader Christy Oglevee. They're going to get married next May, despite a rendezvous two years ago with Cooley, Oglevee, and another Redskins cheerleader t hat resulted in the cheerleaders violating a policy of "fraternizing with players" (they use the unsexiest phrases, these corporate policies) and ultimately losing their jobs. The article does a poor job of delving into this get-together at Cooley's house, or how Cooley stopped dating one cheerleader and began dating the next. Perhaps a Seinfeldian "switch" was executed to perfection. Thankfully, love persevered — it really doesn't say how, so I'm just gonna safely assume "mind-blowing sex" — and now the happy, pretty people are an item.

If you think the bride-to-be's family doesn't approve of Cooley's wild lifestyle, you should ask Mr. Oglevee, who, for his daughter's 21st birthday party, partied with Cooley by each doing 21 shots of Jim Beam. I'm guessing whoever finished last had to wear the tight shorts.

Captain Chaos Finds His First Mate [Washington Post]