City Of Philadelphia Deploys Advanced Pole-Greasing Tactics

The battle between Philadelphia and its rowdy, pole-climbing residents has entered a new stage. Before the NFC title game, the city went about trying to prevent celebrating Eagles fans from scaling light poles by slathering them in Crisco. It didn’t work, and last week the city seemed to accept defeat, announcing that the poles would not be greased before tonight’s Super Bowl.

Ah, how things have changed. It seems that some time between that announcement and today, the city came up with new plan of attack: hydraulic fluid.

Your move, Eagles fans.