Philly Cops Won’t Grease Poles For The Super Bowl Because It Didn’t Work Anyway

If the Eagles do the unthinkable and actually win the Super Bowl, Philadelphians will rush out onto the streets in celebration. If they want to climb some light poles to celebrate, they will be able to do so unencumbered: Philadelphia Police Commissioner Richard Ross announced today that the city won’t be greasing up light poles.

Before the NFC title game, the city covered light poles with Crisco. The Eagles routed the Vikings, 38-7, and fans climbed the poles with ease.

Philly won’t undertake a re-greasing effort this Sunday. Ross told reporters the substance just wasn’t slick enough to be effective.

There may be other ways. Earlier this week KYW 1060 talked with Audubon Pennsylvania’s Steven Saffier, who said that squirrel baffles would work for stopping fans from climbing light poles. Unfortunately, they may be size prohibitive:

They’re about a foot and a half in diameter. So how would you scale it up for a human application?

“Eagles fans are incredibly tenacious, and I’m gonna say, maybe nine, 10 feet in diameter,” said Saffier.

Though the poles will remain ungreased, Ross said that regardless of the game’s outcome, there will be a “sizable contingent of officers” that night.

[ CBS Philly]