Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Frat Bro Writes The Rapiest Email Ever: "Luring Your Rapebait"

Illustration for article titled Frat Bro Writes The Rapiest Email Ever: "Luring Your Rapebait"

Here's one more reason to never, ever, ever let your kids near anything in a fraternity: this godawful email from an active member of the Georgia Tech Phi Kappa Tau frat, titled "Luring your Rapebait". It goes downhill from there.


Total Frat Move has the full email, which you can read here.

The rapey-but-seriously-don't-rape-wink-wink guide starts out innocently enough. The writer, name redacted here, sets out to educate his "chods" about how to mack and succeed at parties. All bold emphasis added:

For anytime throughout the party… If you are standing by yourself at any point, YOU ARE OUTTA HERE!!! If you are talking to a brother of your pledge brothers when there are girls just standing around, YOU ARE OUTTA HERE!!!

Echoes of our hero, deranged Sorority Girl! Chod master will DICK KICK you into traction if you're AWKWARD and BY YOURSELF. Got it? Look, it's easy. The trick is asking a few simple questions, unless the girls are already smashed:

Then proceed to have a conversation. IF THEY ARE HAMMERED AT ANY POINT BEFORE MIDNIGHT, JUST SKIP THE CHIT CHAT AND GO DANCE. … If you see an untalked to group or a solo girl, go up to her and ask if she wants anything to drink. If she says yes, get her a drink and then ask if she wants to dance. If she says no, ask her to dance. DANCING IS FUN!!!!!

OK, well, dancing isn't the creepiest thing. Maybe young fraternity boy just loves to get out on the dance floor. What does Phi Kap dancing look like, exactly?

Here is how to dance: Grab them on the hips with your 2 hands and then let them grind against your dick. After that slowly alternate between just putting your hand across their stomach, but make sure don’t to go to high (keep it under the boob) or too low(dont try to finger her… yet). After a song, start putting your cheek on the side of her cheek. ALWAYS USE YOUR HANDS OR ARMS TO GUIDE THEIR DANCING in order to maximize your pleasure. … If for some reason they aren’t down for a cheek kiss, just dance through it or say you are going to get another drink and see if they want one. And then repeat from the beginning.


Ohhhhh. Oh. Oh god. OK, let's look at this. First, ram your dick into your drunk girl, forcefully. Then place your hand, uh, somewhere (NOT TOO RAPEY!!!! …YET!!!!) And then, if they're some kind of weirdo feminist lesbo and aren't begging for the D, get them drunker and try again. He goes on:

Here is how to escalate: Try to twist her hips around to face you and dance front to front. FROM THERE THE OPTIONS ARE UNLIMITED! You can make-out with her (tongue on tongue), you can stick your hand up her shirt (not right away though), you can go for a butt grab (outside or inside the shirts), or use your imagination. ALWAYS START WITH THE MAKING OUT!!!! NO RAPING.


You hear that, boys? NO RAPING. And there isn't even a winky face after it! He must be serious! Or at least "serious ;)" Then, finally, there are the 7 Es of HOOKING UP!:

1. Encounter (spot a girl or group of girls) 2. Engage (go up and talk to them) 3. Escalate (ask them to dance, or ask them to go up to your room or find a couch, depending on what kind of party) 4. Erection (GET HARD) 5. Excavate (should be self-explanatory) 6. Ejaculate (should also be self explanatory) 7. Expunge (send them out of your room and on their way out when you are finished. IF ANYTHING EVER FAILS, GO GET MORE ALCOHOL. I want to see everyone succeed at the next couple parties.


Thorough! ("GET YOUR DICK HARD, BROTHER!") And also sensible: "If you're met with any form of resistance from a girl who appears to not want to have sex with you, GET HER MORE ALCOHOL." A Disney princess couldn't ask for more. But remember, NO RAPING.

In luring rapebait,



[Total Frat Move]