Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Cops: Wayne Rooney Speaking "Broken English" When Arrested For Public Intoxication

Illustration for article titled Cops: Wayne Rooney Speaking Broken English When Arrested For Public Intoxication

We learned a couple weeks ago that Old Man Wayne Rooney got popped with a public intoxication charge at Dulles International Airport in December. What we didn’t know then was what exactly it was about the twisted-off-his-ass Rooney that attracted the cops’ attention. We do know now. And it involves him speaking in apparently an even less intelligible way than his normal Scouse brogue.

Advertisement

We put in a Freedom of Information request with the Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority Police for the incident report, and today they’ve gotten back to us with it. Here is the relevant excerpt, which details how and why the arresting officer took notice of Rooney and decided to arrest him:

Illustration for article titled Cops: Wayne Rooney Speaking Broken English When Arrested For Public Intoxication
Advertisement

You may be wondering how many on-flight cocktails it would take to get Rooney into that state, but it seems the alcohol wasn’t the entire problem. After news of his arrest broke, a Rooney spokesperson said the D.C. United striker “took a prescribed amount of sleeping tablets mixed with some alcohol consumption and consequently was disorientated on arrival.” Sober Rooney is hard to understand; imagine trying to hold a conversation with him after he’d washed down a couple Ambien with a whiskey rocks or three.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter