Cowboys backup running back Joseph Randle had himself a decent game on Sunday, rushing for 52 yards on just five carries while helping to spell starter DeMarco Murray against the Seahawks. The next day, Randle celebrated by going to Dillard's and allegedly stealing some stuff.
According to police, Randle was arrested after trying to make off with about $120 worth of cologne and underwear. From CBS:
"The items that were stolen were underwear and cologne," said Lieutenant Jason Jenkins with Frisco Police. The cologne is valued at approximately $80, while the underwear is worth $40.
There are quite a few colognes on the Dillards website that are in the $80 range, but Randle fucked up if he wasn't going for this one:
According to the product description, this fragrance "epitomizes determination and bravery," two qualities important to any man who is willing to just roll out of a Dillards with some cologne and underwear he didn't pay for.
Update: TMZ reports that Randle attempted to steal a bottle of Gucci Guilty Black cologne, which has an insane product description of its own:
The Guilty Black lovers bring out the most scandalous sides of each other: alone they are magnificent, together irrepressible. Fearless in their passion, they are brazen, shameless, unpredictable—ready for each and every explosive encounter. Their attraction is instinctive: they go where they sense danger and each other.
Too much is never enough for young hedonists, who drive each other to stray ever darker. Life is thrilling and meant to be lived to the fullest. Again and again, they give in to pleasure and the excitement of breaking the rules.
Gucci Guilty Black is a sensual oriental floral, inviting you to indulge in your burning desires.
Pink Pepper, Red Fruits, Violet, Patchouli, Amber.
Sensual. Indulgent. Provocative.
Please chill, guys who write copy for cologne products.
Update: And here is the arrest report: