Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Dead Letters: "Hey Cuntbags. Research This."

Illustration for article titled Dead Letters: Hey Cuntbags. Research This.
Dead LettersWelcome to Dead Letters, the feature in which we reprint our favorite reader mail. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Deadspin and its editors and writers are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters.

Subject: Forward to Clint [Hurdle]

From: c-rogers4
To: Jack Dickey

We made our run. Baltimore was the Braves of last year. Tabata should not be on the roster. He hasn’t hit the ball out of the infield in 2 months, makes terrible plays in left and rarely hustles. Yet they keep playing him. They will not sacrifice runnners over. Who cares if McCutchen is up. Odds are he is going to make an out. Nobody cuts down their swing or chokes up to direct the ball to the open areas. Especially with these shifts they run. A bunch of multi millionares who do what they want. I see 14 under .500 and 4th place unless they make some drastic changes like sending down Tabata, brining up Marte and Clement. Very unlikely to happen. Another disgraceful year is in progress and they are doing nothing to stop it.............I’m ready to read about a successful organization. The steelers. There is no “authority” on this team. Do this if you want to play! Just going about their separate little battles...............Uggghhh.........................Chris


Subject: Respect for Mr. Pereira

From: Jenny Pereira
To: The Staff

I would appreciate a little respect for my father. There was no need to put a negative light on such a funny story. Additionally, journalism 101 is doing good research and in doing so you would see that he was NEVER convicted and that his accuser is in jail now for impersonating an attorney. My Dad has done a lot of good for this community and whether you like it or not is also beyond respected. So next time please think before turning a light hearted story into a negative one.

Jennifer Pereira ( the girl with black hair standing next to him)

Subject: [no subject]

From: Rumar Spencer
To: Tom Scocca


i was looking up info on nba player jr smith, and i happen to spot an headline that you wrote, “j.r. smith pulled over in miami, for being black”. i think you went too far right there tom,

you shouldn’t have wrote that. i don’t know you or even read your articles, but to come up with a stereotypical headline like you did, you ought to be ashame of yourself.

i’m totally disgusted at you.

internet reader: rumar spencer south hill, virginia

Subject: Does pretending to have conviction

From: J. Horne
To: Drew Magary

Make up for what your head looks like?

Subject: Drew

From: Edward Bello
To: Drew Magary

This is a sad article.. To hate so much one men and a team that you don’t even know. I used to like reading deadspin, but now after this article I don’t give a flying fuck about anything on there anymore. You are a sad sad man.


Subject: What an asshole

From: Rick
To: Drew Magary

Bitter bitter....shit tastes bad doesn’t it?
Another Internet punk ass

Subject: Rovell sucks

From: David L.
To: The Staff

At the culmination of last nights game, Darren Rovell did his usual headlines contest. I had one I thought was pretty solid, so I sent it when he asked for them. Turns out, he decided he liked mine the most, only he gave credit and props to some guy who stole it and sent it 11 minutes after me. Here are screenshots, where you can clearly see that one says 35 min ago and one 24 min ago. Used to think Rovell was decent, but if you are going to do a contest, you gotta give credit to the right people. Unless you’re just a cocksucker.


Sent from my HTC on the Now Network from Sprint!

Illustration for article titled Dead Letters: Hey Cuntbags. Research This.
Illustration for article titled Dead Letters: Hey Cuntbags. Research This.

Subject: Partnership Inquiry

From: Helen Boram
To: The Staff

I’ve been a big fan of your site for a while, and I enjoy all of your posts—I love that you write about all kinds of things related to sports and that everything is so well-written and usually hilarious! I loved the recent update about the Miami Heat Cigar Guy, particularly the line about a deal right out of a Carl Hiaasen novel. I’m actually writing to you because I have a video Verizon made recently that your readers will definitely appreciate.
Here’s the link to the video where Verizon celebrates the speed of its new FiOS Quantum℠ Internet in a pretty unorthodox way. Spoiler alert: It includes a guy jumping off a 10,000-foot cliff in a personalized wing suit! Talk about a need for speed...
It would be great if you posted something about the video so your readers can also experience fast speed like never before! Please let me know if you would like to hear more, and I’d be happy to get you the information. Thanks!
Helen Boram


Subject: Hey Cuntbags. Research this.

From: Mikepants34
To: The Staff

The Oakland A’s record since you wrote this clueless shit.

From: Jack Dickey
To: Mikepants34

Is it 8-4?

From: Mikepants34
To: Jack Dickey

Yes. Yes it is. Now, when did those 8 wins occur? Over the last 9 games. I know it’s hard for east coast writers to stay up til 2am so how about you guys keep the A’s off your website? Nobody gives a fuck about the A’s anyway. Except me with my smartphone and filthy mouth.


Subject: I’m a regular viewer of

From: Allen Drouare
To: The Staff

Subject: Domain name

I just realized, by looking at my invoice, that I had reserved the domain name of a long time ago and I never did anything with it.
It seems to me that it would match some of your hilarious content, and that you guys might want to have it.
I just renewed it for another year, but I am willing to sell it to you for $1,000 if you are interested.
What do you think?
-Allen D.

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