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Deadspin 2013: The Meanest Things We Said About People

Illustration for article titled Deadspin 2013: The Meanest Things We Said About People

Like we do every year, we called a lot of people a lot of really mean names in 2013. Here's a collection of many of the mean things we called people this year.

BuzzFeeᴅ: "Former collegiate a cappella group members"

Ashley Fox: "Reads like a First Take producer's brainstorming session"

Damon Bruce: "Fucking nutjob"

Dan Snyder: "Synonymous with evil, waste, dishonesty, petulance, litigiousness, churlishness, entitlement, vulgarianism, moral rot, snuff porn, rapacious capitalism, illegal deforestation, American Indian minstrelsy, general shitbaggery, the Lollipop Guild, Tom Cruise, heedless body modification, a lordly disdain for the underclass, the systematic commodification of human experience, and horsefucking."


James Dolan: "Shitty blues musician," "Asswipe and a schmuck...Giant asshole...Dumpy cretin," "Genital wart"

Roger Goodell: "The NFL Owners' best publicist"

Susan Reimer: "Moron"

Jeffrey Loria: "Gilded lifesize hemorrhoid"

Pete Prisco: "Moron columnist," "Odious football columnist and wearer of weird shorts"

Glenn Clark and Vic Lombardi: "A pair of lowing man-babies"

Wright Thompson: "ESPN's premier longform writer," "Foghorn Leghorn with a Twitter login and an expense account"


Don Dahler: "Talking haircut"

Jason Reid: "Miss DC," "Bottom-rung sports columnist"

Lynn Hoppes: "Dancing With The Stars correspondent"

Rick Reilly: "A pretty good poet for a seventh grader," "Presumptuous, morally officious boob"


Colin Cowherd: "The worst," "Race-baiting sports yakker...Sounds like the lost third author of The Bell Curve"

Andrew Bogut:"Colin Cowherd in size fourteens"

Chris Jones: "Former blogger," "An asshole pumping blood"

Jim Boeheim: "Officious turd"

Jason Whitlock: "Nascent dwarf planet"

Phil Mushnick: "Professional shithead"

Craig James: "Possible hooker-killer"

Mike Florio: "A good shill"

Jen Floyd Engel: "Worst Columnist In America"

Chael Sonnen: "Middling professional fighter"

Trick Shot Titus: "Pathetic baby"

Bill Simmons: "Fancies himself an oracle," "ESPN splitting-head," "Well-known brand"


Skip Bayless: "Resident ESPN troll"

Chris Broussard: "Bigot"

Jack Edwards: "Either the world's most ingenious troll or a crazy person"

John Ziegler: "Lunatic"

Peter King: "Overpaid sportswriter," "Dull exponent of NFL conventional wisdom"

Nate Rider: "Confused sportswriter"

Joe Strauss: "Moron"

Jimmy Haslam: "Evil motherfucker"

Zygi Wilf: "Evil racketeer"

David Chao: "Drunk quack"

Elliot Pellman: "Fraud. Conspirator. Quack. Disgrace."

Dan Shaughnessy: "Self-appointed tribune of all Boston fandom"

Gregg Doyel: "Prize stud of the CBS Sports stable of troll columnists"

Ed Sherman: "ESPN PR's favorite media reporter," "Dreary newspaper hack...Dumb...Useless"


Pete Thamel: "Author of romance fiction"

Ariel Helwani: "Mean Gene Okerlund of MMA"

Scott Miller: "Shit-peddling white-guy columnist...Half-literate moron"

Kelly Dwyer: "Toughest record store clerk in your badass local record store"

Dan Levy: "Still the self-appointed ombudsman of everything"

Katie Baker: "Marginally hip Canadian aunt"

Mark May: "Dumbest sports pundit on TV"

Dan Dakich: "Shitty radio host"

Jon Heyman: "Has to learn to spell"

Bruce Arthur: "Pious bore"

Darren Rovell: "Post-human," "Someone who found his niche licking the boots of corporate sponsors"


Doug Gottlieb: "NCAA apologist"

Charles Robinson: "Mall cop coming to terms with the fact that no one goes to that mall anymore"


Jason McIntyre: "ESPN PR guy"

Chris Kluwe: "Unemployable Redditor"

Kendrick Perkins: "Heavy equipment that someone dragged onto the court from a rock quarry"


Greg Schiano: "Wannabe Napoleon," "Short on neck but very high on a complete inability to win football games"

Mike Shanahan: "Stoic leatherface"

Tino Martinez: "An absolute lunatic"

Jack Dickey: "Disgusting man"

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