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Deadspin's Arena Anthem Death Match: Heading Into the Elite 8 With Some Scrappy Cinderellas Still Alive

Illustration for article titled Deadspins Arena Anthem Death Match: Heading Into the Elite 8 With Some Scrappy Cinderellas Still Alive

We have arrived at the Elite 8 of our little funfest here and it’s a mixed bag of, “Well, DUH, of course THEY are there,” and “Huh, how about that?” In only one region did the top two seeds emerge. And we have TWO six-seeds vying for the Final Four. In the end though, all of our upstarts have monster hills to climb to achieve such lofty goals. Let’s take a gander ...

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East

#1 Seven Nation Army 74.1% ✅ / #5 Song 2 25.9%

#3 Lose Yourself 55.1% ✅ / #7 Eye of the Tiger 44.9%

Song 2 looked like it had a prayer of keeping it respectable for awhile, but late voting just sent them spiraling down a walk of shame home. The Army marches on, and faces Eminem’s self-affirming mantra. Honestly, I’m surprised Eye of the Tiger didn’t have enough in the tank to keep this more nailbiter-y. So … on paper, ya gotta like the one-seed to march on. Em remains rap’s last hope in this thing. That’s … kinda shitty, honestly!

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Prediction: SNA 81% LY 19%

West

#1 Welcome to the Jungle 80.9% ✅ / #12 Pump Up the Jam 19.1%

#6 Crazy Train 65.3% ✅ / #7 Turn Down For What 34.7%

No surprise here. GNR rolls easily versus a Cinderella. Ozzy beats back a decent showing from Lil Jon. And we have our first (cue: autotuner echo) MONSTERS MONSTERS OF ROCK ROCK DEATH MATCH MATCH! I think Ozzy can hang tight-ish … but truly believe won’t be much of a rumble with the Jungle.

Prediction: WttJ: 73% CT: 27

South

#1 Thunderstruck 75.2% ✅ / #5 Let Me Clear My Throat 24.8%

#6 Black Betty 66.9% ✅ / #10 Party Rock Anthem 33.1%

YASSSS! Color me Beavis & Butthead when Gwar comes on! I am so happy Ram Jam is crashing the party in this one. Yeah, sure, good luck against the Ivan Drago of Arena Anthems, but I give them a puncher’s chance based on last round. Best intro to an anthem meets best guitar lick. Choose your fighter.

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Prediction: TS 58%, BB 42%

Midwest

#1 We Will Rock You 61.6% ✅ / #5 Paradise City 38.4%

#2 Kickstart My Heart 58.5% ✅ / #6 C’mon Ride It (The Train) 42.5%

A bit closer matchups in this region, but it’s our only 1-2 title match. Another one doesn’t bite the dust, and Queens holds serve and gets to defend it’s universally bestowed previous title of Arena Anthem Champ and against the song I picked as my favorite. The Crue will have to find another gear to keep this close, but they’ll have me cheering them on with a foam finger, for whatever that is worth [crickets].

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Prediction: WWRY 59% KMH 41%

See you back here in a few to see who survived and punched their ticket to our Final Four. Voting starts … NOW! (It’s on the Twitters. Go there, silly).

Deputy Editor, Deadspin. Author, "One Lucky Fan: From Bleachers to Box Seats, Chasing the Ultimate Sports Dream to Visit All 123 MLB, NBA, NFL & NHL Teams." Earthwalker.

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