Just know that, when the giant blue Martians that have been hibernating miles deep in the Earth's crust finally emerge and begin their assault on this wonderful thing we call human civilization, Diego Maradona has been training and will knock those sons of bitches right back to where they came from.

That, or Maradona is secretly a first-responder for his own race of troll-people—with their rejuvenating, moulting shells and imperviousness to hardcore drugs—and that actually regularly-sized dummy he's beating on is being used as practice for his people's coming coup attempt. One or the other.

[AS]

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