Behold! The winner of the 142nd Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show: none other than Flynn the bichon frise, pictured above. A very good dog—aren’t they all?—and yet, from my point of view as an idiot completely uneducated on the subject, not the best dog. Clearly not the best dog. Flynn, like any bichon frise, appears to be not so much a dog as five oversized cotton balls stacked on top of each other like toddlers in the proverbial trench coat.
Here are some dogs who should have won instead, in my uninformed opinion:
This beautiful Furby (Bernie the pekingese)
This dramatic mop (Faggia the Bergamasco)
This absolute unit (Captain Crunch the great dane, here pictured backstage)
This well-behaved lad who is growing weary of affection (a wirehaired vizsla, name unknown at press time)
This big smiling lunk (Ronin the miniature bull terrier)
This butt (Glitter the Chinese shar-pei)