Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•One writer makes the case that the Saints' onside kick violated the unwritten rule that you don't do that to start a half. It is perhaps the first time in Internet history that every single commenter agrees with each other: that the column is bullshit.
•The Oilers' NHL franchise will move to Oklahoma City. No word yet on what will happen to that AHL team in Edmonton.
•In what could be one of the NBA's signature rivalries for the next 10 years, the Thunder easily handled a banged-up Blazers squad. Two OKC stories in one day? I think the country has a new sports Mecca.
•The president of Mizzou's student body wants to replace the school's mascot with a real live tiger. Thanks to insurance fees, tuition will go up. It should even out for the school though, because thanks to the tiger, the student body will go down by a few every game.
•Rutgers coach C. Vivian Stringer was suspended one game for violating the school's policy regarding male practice players. Namely, don't let them in the layup line, or the world will learn that men's fundamentals are just as good.
Wednesday is upon us. Keep it coming.