Photo: Cole Burston (Getty)

The last time we did this, Drake had descended from his stage in the heart of Toronto—why does Drake get a stage? Why doesn’t he watch the game among the rest of the fans?—to tell us that Raptors fans are very good at following the rules. The performance left some clear opportunities for improvement, but I don’t think we can say Drake took advantage of those opportunities.

Not even 30 seconds into his post-championship interview, which he approached as if he had just stepped off the floor himself, Drake was staring off into space and saying, “I want my chips with a dip, that’s all I know. I don’t want my chips plain, I want my chips with a dip. Bring them dips.”

He should have consulted the ghostwriters.