Maybe you were thinking that eggnog gets its flavor from nutmeg and cinnamon and sugar and booze. Maybe you were thinking that if anything about this rich, sweet beverage were harmful, surely it'd be the raw egg and the cream, and the occasionally gastrointestinally hazardous combination of alcohol and those things. Maybe you were thinking, OK, but the flavoring, surely the flavoring is harmless.
Oh, who are you kidding. Of course you were thinking that.
Haha, man, you were wrong. We were all wrong. But nobody was wronger than the poor suckers at Pharmachem Laboratories in Totowa, N.J., who learned the hard way that actually, eggnog gets its flavor from nitroglycerin or something. A vat of eggnog flavoring exploded there Saturday night, powerfully enough to be felt inside a house a mile away.
"The whole back of the building was completely blown out; probably half of this building may have to be torn down," Totowa Fire Marshal Allen Del Vecchio told WABC. That's a big-ass explosion! It took out three stories! Right now some seagull in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean is all, What the hell, it smells like burnt nutmeg.
Don't drink explosives.
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