Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion


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• College Basketball: Detroit 48, Louisville 56. "I'm not pleased with our improvement," Louisville head coach Rick Pitino said after the game. Hey, ya think? Meanwhile, this may be the best thing to happen to Detroit basketball since Dick Vitale left to take an NBA job in 1978.
• Rugby: Stade Fran ais 20-17 Biarritz. Alright, I have no idea when this took place, or what it means, but I am hellbent on finishing this edition of "Elsewhere" with three non-NFL updates, and this match was listed in the current scores on Yahoo. This may have taken place literally months ago.
• Bass Fishing: Former bodyguard leaves threat assessment career for bass fishing. A woman named Robin Babb (pictured) is giving up her career as a celebrity-protecter. Now she's a fisherman. Or fisherwoman, I guess. At any rate, the world of competitive fishing... you know what, fuck it. Whenever I type the words "competitive fishing," it's not even worth finishing the sentence.


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