The NBA’s in-season tourney courts are predictably a clown show

There may be no better analogy for how shallow the NBA’s new in-season tournament is than the league’s gaudy courts. The colorful floors were thrown together as a way to differentiate regular season games from in-season tournament games even though they still count toward the regular season. In addition to the Dallas Mavericks’ court being held up by a manufacturing issue, multiple players have complained about slipping, and weird dead spots on the court.

Luka Dončić, Tyrese Haliburton, and Myles Turner have all sounded off, and if you’re wondering about Dončić, he was talking about the Pelicans’ specialty floor (seen above).

“I think the court today was really bad,” Dončić said after Dallas’ loss in New Orleans on Tuesday. “It was really slippery, and in some places, the ball didn’t really bounce. If we’re going to have these courts, we need to make sure that it’s a stable court.”

So you’re saying swapping out court designs is not as seamless as changing the hat on your Fortnite avatar? (I’m not sure if that reference tracks, but we’ll use it.) They put a damn racing stripe in the middle of the floor like it’s a Camaro. Remember when Homer Simpson’s rich, estranged brother let him design a car? That’s how I’d describe the aesthetic of these in-season courts.

Never mind that the players don’t seem to care about invisible standings, let’s have Christopher from The Sopranos shove this bulky, shoe-horned venture down your throat while Draymond Green wheels around a chip cart and acts like he cares. I love how Green’s headlock of Rudy Gobert is being attributed to his yearning for a trophy that’s so anonymous they slapped it on the court so guys know what they’re playing for.

The Warriors’ enforcer has been looking for any chance to put his hands on the Stifle Tower, and leapt at the opportunity despite how it would reflect on his team’s tournament “standings.” Do you think Draymond would’ve tried to submit Gobert in Game 5 of an even series? Maybe if Golden State had a 3-1 lead, but not at 2-2.

I’m honestly surprised Adam Silver didn’t hand down a stiffer penalty for making a mockery of his pet project. But I guess the league is doing a pretty good job of that already, so can’t really complain about the kettle’s hue in this situation.

Seriously, did no one think to at least play an exhibition game on these courts before putting them into rotation? (That rhetorical question has already been answered.) Obviously, product testing would’ve required planning and foresight that apparently Silver overlooked whilst daydreaming up this foolishness.